tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post3183505308381482218..comments2023-04-12T04:58:59.365-04:00Comments on Party of 5: Guide to mothers with careersHeatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05046870363509253257noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-59745175817426281802009-02-28T16:47:00.000-05:002009-02-28T16:47:00.000-05:00Oh the labels...can't we all just get along ;-) I...Oh the labels...can't we all just get along ;-) I've been both SAHM for years and a big-career mom. Either way, neither title defines me. I just live life and enjoy my family. <BR/><BR/>Peace.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-33620045048732414512009-02-15T17:46:00.000-05:002009-02-15T17:46:00.000-05:00THANK YOU BRAYDON & A FULL ROUND OF APPRECIATI...THANK YOU BRAYDON & A FULL ROUND OF APPRECIATION SO FULL THAT I DON'T HAVE WORDS FOR IT... THANK YOU TO HEATHER!! <BR/><BR/>The mean spirited comments always bother me.. but for the multitudes of readership that you have... they most continue to return if they randomly pop their head in to stir up some make believe controversy. <BR/><BR/>Those that don't "get it" ... just don't "get it" and they never will. They don't want to. They are clearly closing their lives and minds to mirror only what they choose to see.<BR/><BR/>I have learned so much about parenting and guts and bonding and attachment and pushing through the tough stuff, and being HUMBLE enough to know when to ask for help and learn to recognize when I am not the only one that will benefit my children, and how to laugh at myself and my family and on and on and on and on. <BR/><BR/>There is strength in what you write here and I am blessed to have found it... and empowered by it's messages. Thank you Johnson- McCormicks!!Sha Zam-https://www.blogger.com/profile/11705917883828933628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-21813647980178649642009-02-14T19:38:00.000-05:002009-02-14T19:38:00.000-05:00sorry, Clara here again. I forgot to say something...sorry, Clara here again. I forgot to say something I meant to say before. He also writes (referring to WMs) "she's contributing to the world and to the household finances" but he didn't say that SAHMs aren't doing that. really, I just don't get the hatefulness. I must be missing something here??? Personally, I was shocked a guy could write something like that at all!!! Hats off to you Braydon!<BR/>ClaraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-41921412181736162222009-02-14T19:33:00.000-05:002009-02-14T19:33:00.000-05:00I don't get why this inflamed some SAHMs so much. ...I don't get why this inflamed some SAHMs so much. I have re-read it several times and as a SAHM myself I really don't get it. He wrote "I respect the decision of stay at home mothers and people who have consciously decided to enact a traditional gender relationship. I also believe fully that women should be in the workforce in major career positions." He didn't write that he believes that ALL women should be in major career positions. He didn't say women shouldn't stay home if they choose. He does say that he thinks kids of working women are more self-confident, but that is just his opinion. I really just don't get why such hatetred coming out at this. <BR/>Dumbfounded,<BR/>Clara in MTAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-60950026432580429682009-02-14T19:06:00.000-05:002009-02-14T19:06:00.000-05:00Braydon,I've been a working mom since my kids came...Braydon,<BR/>I've been a working mom since my kids came home a little more than a year ago -- working on my career and working on being my kids' mom. I want M to read this and get his thoughts...but no doubt he will agree with much. I have been fortunate to be home while working this past year through our toughest adjustments and I even dreamed about giving up my career to devote to it full time. But now that I have taken a new job that furthers my career in PR/Marketing (and into higher ed), I feel energized, excited, ready in every way. It won't make me any less of my kids' mom though I've had people ask me "what will you do with your kids" on many occasions. It will be an adjustment to not pick them up from school everyday but will they have less of me really? I think they'll have more. And when they are grown and gone, I'll be years further into my career. And that I like very much.<BR/>I completely respect a woman's decision to stay home and their contributions are invaluble to their families. And I also completely respect a woman's decision to further her career. I wish this wasn't such a hotly debated topic. To each his own. Anyway, thanks for sharing your opinion.<BR/>KChapter Twohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08484699863613715240noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-44160520490864260272009-02-14T11:27:00.000-05:002009-02-14T11:27:00.000-05:00As a SAHM (who used to be a lawyer back in the day...As a SAHM (who used to be a lawyer back in the day) I have been very interested in the mommy wars since the beginning. I have to say that if I am honest about it, I truly think that a lot of the SAHM defense/offense is about their own inner angst. I have been a part of their conversations (conversations that a WM would never be allowed in on). I have often been truly disgusted at what I hear. It is no different than middle school girl sh*t. I am able to admit, at this point in time, that I wish I had not left my career. Now, 15 years later, there is no possible way for me to jump in where I left off. I don't want to be a part of the SAHM "clique" anymore. But I can't go back and compete with my once-peer lawyers (female or male -- they have simply put the years in that I haven't). Somehow we have to find a way to let all people be well-rounded in their lives. All-or-nothing just doesn't cut it in this day and age. I appreciate your willingness to put it out there. I know of no other WM blogger who does that the way you do. Thank you.<BR/>Jennie (a long time reader) in San FranAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-62739072911395433382009-02-13T19:49:00.000-05:002009-02-13T19:49:00.000-05:00We live and we make choices. Some of these choices...We live and we make choices. Some of these choices are absolutely right or absolutely wrong. Some are not. <BR/>Choosing a combination of man pursuing a career/man not pursuing a career, woman pursuing a career/woman not pursuing a career, full time/part time/for profit/not for profit/at home/away from home...etc.<BR/>well, that complicated choice is not absolutely right or wrong. Each family needs to step forward, honestly and whole-heartedly and live life just how they've been directed. With regards to their individual giftings, opportunities and their families unique needs.<BR/><BR/>It's just plain silly to assume that I or anyone else (except you two) could ever really know what's best for your family. So, I am sorry you receive overt critisism. The pure ignorance of it must annoy and sting.<BR/><BR/>I've been reading for long enough to know your hearts. If your gorgeous children weren't thriving and growing and learning and loving...you'd make changes. Immediately. Know that this truth is evident throughout each post.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for writing.Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17686714547892987506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-89313592951497284132009-02-13T19:35:00.000-05:002009-02-13T19:35:00.000-05:00Excuse my bluntness, but I am flabergasted that a ...Excuse my bluntness, but I am flabergasted that a man just wrote that! <BR/><BR/>There need to be more men/husbands/fathers like you in the world. Thankyou for writing that piece!Heza Hekelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16521747190274748084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-42025353620806105222009-02-13T19:16:00.000-05:002009-02-13T19:16:00.000-05:00I seriously think you would be hard pressed to fin...I seriously think you would be hard pressed to find a better mother than you find here on this blog. Put her up against any working mother or SAHM and she's gonna be just fine! That she uses her blog to write a tiny bit about some of the challenges is her perogative. If you don't like it here, don't read it!!! <BR/>Cyndi in MAAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-63923852023099098092009-02-13T18:19:00.000-05:002009-02-13T18:19:00.000-05:00I left a career to stay home with my children when...I left a career to stay home with my children when we adopted them. I firmly believe that my husband and I should be the people raising our children -- not a nanny or a day care. I also believe that parenting is very much in the day-to-day moments that you experience with your children. And I believe that while quality is always important, quantity, when it comes to parenting, is also a good thing.<BR/>So why was it that less than a month later I was back working from home? (I'm a writer/journalist.)<BR/>I love what I do. I think it has an impact on the world around me, and therefore on my children. But I have chosen to do this not at the expense of my core beliefs. Which means that I've got to parent fulltime and write around that. Some days I long to go to a workplace just so I can have lunch without little hands stealing my potato chips, but you know -- that wasn't my choice.<BR/>And really, for me, the SAHM/Working Mom wars (which are very real, even to me here in the DMZ since I'm both and neither)are the result simply and completely of guilt on both sides that we're not doing more for our children who in a World sense seem to be struggling. <BR/>So it continues to be my greatest hope that feminism teaches us not that one is better than the other, but that it's okay to know yourself well enough, your family well enough and your goals well enough to be able to make a choice that is satisfying and contributes to happier families.<BR/>From reading this blog for the past year or so, it seems to me that Braydon and Heather have found what works for them and their family and should be applauded for that.<BR/>Tracy<BR/>(sorry long!)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-71404568138612358082009-02-13T18:14:00.000-05:002009-02-13T18:14:00.000-05:00I have a Ph.D. and I can understand the desire to ...I have a Ph.D. and I can understand the desire to work in my field. However, I am also respectful of those women with and without advanced degrees who choose to pursue their passions in their homes with their children. Both are to be commended for their smart decisions.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-23084247678153334572009-02-13T18:10:00.000-05:002009-02-13T18:10:00.000-05:00"so that our husbands can work the 12-14 hour..."so that our husbands can work the 12-14 hour days that their jobs require for advancement"<BR/><BR/>As a feminist I just have to point out that it is precisely because of SAHMs that men with children have a mega huge advantage over women with children when it comes to competing in the workplace. <BR/><BR/>Anyone who thinks that sexism is dead and gone only has to look at the comments to the recent couple of posts on this blog to see that the battle is FAR FROM OVER.<BR/><BR/>Keep up the good fight H & BAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-57742740135903740022009-02-13T17:32:00.000-05:002009-02-13T17:32:00.000-05:00Bravo to you both, Heather and Braydon. I need so...Bravo to you both, Heather and Braydon. I need some tips on where to find such a supportive husband!Triciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01658897622283996407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-79150444537407020212009-02-13T17:24:00.000-05:002009-02-13T17:24:00.000-05:00When I write posts, I am typically writing to my c...When I write posts, I am typically writing to my children for them to read when they are adults. I believe it's important for them to have a reference of their parents' perspectives on things that are tough to navigate and have a clear direction (that they can choose to adhere to, reject or modify as they see fit).<BR/><BR/>This post is about my perspective on women with careers, not women who stay at home. My wife has a career, and I suspect my daughter will have a career and my sons will be with women who will have careers (unless they are gay, in which case the equation changes a bit).<BR/><BR/>I did make some statements that show my opinion about whether women should work or not - and those may have sounded critical, although I never said that SAHM's only value is housework, and I would never suggest that mothers who have children with special needs should forego taking care of their children.<BR/><BR/>It's important to realize however, that on virtually a daily basis our family is overtly and covertly criticized for Heather working, my supporting her and the "effect it's having on our children." So, if I got a little insistent in the expression of my beliefs, I can surely be forgiven.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01251586884036392338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-73980752329883863042009-02-13T16:54:00.000-05:002009-02-13T16:54:00.000-05:00I don't know who this Corey person is but to me it...I don't know who this Corey person is but to me it sounds like she is the one who is defensive. so much so that she's now playing offense. Come on people. This was a post about career moms, not SAHMs. Get over it and let the women who work (and the men who support them) at least get SOME credit. Come on!<BR/>From Louissa Grey in Seattle (started reading here a couple months ago because a friend recommended this blog, and by the way I'm a SAHM and not ashamed of it but also in awe of mothers who also work by choice or because they have no choice)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-63428484648841196912009-02-13T16:42:00.000-05:002009-02-13T16:42:00.000-05:00I think it's interesting that you say that you "re...I think it's interesting that you say that you "respect the decision of stay at home mothers...etc" and yet throughout this post, you clearly judge those of us who are for our decision. <BR/><BR/>If a career woman is "contributing to the world and to the household finances".. what is the SAHM doing? In your opinion, not doing either.<BR/><BR/>You seem to think that women who don't work outside the home are simply "cleaning and cooking and raising the kids." Sure. We're also homeschooling, attachment parenting, managing our households, taking kids to medical appointments and specialists, grocery shopping, handling car maintenance .. and doing the things that you hire a Nanny, housekeeper, and lawn guy to do. And, a lot of times, we act almost as single parents, so that our husbands can work the 12-14 hour days that their jobs require for advancement. I choose to be home. I want to spend every second with my kids while I can.. and I fully believe that there is time for a career later, when they are grown. If I'm wrong.. they are still worth it.<BR/><BR/>"I believe it's a tragic brain drain and a detriment to the world when women are not in the work force." Could I contribute something of value? I believe I am!<BR/><BR/>"Children who see their mothers in serious careers are more confident, capable and mature." Why does it always have to be a contest between working and SAH moms? I don't care what anyone else does. It's like the whole point of this post is that you feel like you have to justify Heather's working and having Margie around. WHO CARES?! Heather likes working. It's important to her. Great! So do it. But why do you feel like you need to judge people that make a different decision?<BR/><BR/>"To everyone else I just angered and alienated, I'm sorry, but it had to be said." Really? WHY?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-7476004421121425162009-02-13T16:24:00.000-05:002009-02-13T16:24:00.000-05:00I commend you Braydon for your post. My hubby had...I commend you Braydon for your post. My hubby had read it and he agrees. Alot of what was written he already does and then some. I do have to mention though that he, like you with Heather, is a big supporter to me.<BR/><BR/>Many a time he has told me that he doesn't do enough, but that isn't true as he has gone above and beyond time and again.<BR/><BR/>So keep up all you do also. Thanks again.<BR/><BR/>Love and Hugs,<BR/>ClaudiaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com