tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post6545153995342467828..comments2023-04-12T04:58:59.365-04:00Comments on Party of 5: Thinking About Tomorrow, And The PastHeatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05046870363509253257noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-60052999008400022392009-03-08T13:10:00.000-04:002009-03-08T13:10:00.000-04:00oh my gosh. i wasn't expecting to feel so emotion...oh my gosh. i wasn't expecting to feel so emotional reading a blog post. but i cried several times reading what these sweet boys are thinking and feeling about their adoption. i have to admit, i'm terrified for the day that my son can verbalize his views and fears about adoption. it scares me to death. what if i say the wrong thing? what if he can tell that i don't know the right answers? there are so many "what if's" and i'm glad right now that he can't talk in coherent sentences yet. but your post makes me feel a little relief. knowing that every child processes their experience differently and they all have fears and deep feelings about it. and that there's no way we can "fix" them. as parents we can't fix their hurts and pain. we can only do our best to reassure them of our unconditional love and presence in their lives. and that will probably never be enough. but i appreciate your stories and honest words about your boys. i really love this post and i hope i can be as calm and reassuring as you when my son starts asking the questions. thank you for sharing.Taz's Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09817734786902314651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-71068662463825946422009-02-09T12:20:00.000-05:002009-02-09T12:20:00.000-05:00I am crying too, reading this post. I *so* admire ...I am crying too, reading this post. I *so* admire the way you are handling this and I am *so* glad that you are blogging it, because it is really a help to newer AP like myself.Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08954918065641135178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-44421526361198932772009-02-01T22:21:00.000-05:002009-02-01T22:21:00.000-05:00So many times your blog seems like you have perfec...So many times your blog seems like you have perfect life (but still interesting, so I keep reading). So I really liked this glimpse into the harder parts of being a parent for you, and the harder parts of being adopted for your boys.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-65884193108949976462009-02-01T17:13:00.000-05:002009-02-01T17:13:00.000-05:00A truly moving post. Thanks for talking about some...A truly moving post. Thanks for talking about some of these tough conversations...Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15383941522179777296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-43079202985577014562009-02-01T07:24:00.000-05:002009-02-01T07:24:00.000-05:00Hi. I've been reading here for a couple of months ...Hi. I've been reading here for a couple of months (turned on here by Light Skinned-ed Girl) and I don't know if I've left a comment before or not. I so appreciate these posts where you share your adoption conversations with the boys. My son is nearing four years old and the questions get more complex every week. He is just starting to express things like his longing/preference for us when he was in his first mom's womb. It is all so loaded and challenging and it encourages me just to know other families are having these conversations. Thanks for sharing, I've so enjoyed reading your blog. (And my son loves to look at the pictures of another family where the colors fall in a similar pattern to ours...oh, and the trampoline video really inspired him and he pretended to be jumping on a trampoline like the twins until we finally got one.) :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-41265203027527372712009-01-31T21:55:00.000-05:002009-01-31T21:55:00.000-05:00I can't imagine when Malía is old enough to ask th...I can't imagine when Malía is old enough to ask these things. I hope I handle it half as well! <BR/>Happy day!Mamato2https://www.blogger.com/profile/06806107872956157971noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-6806386928994790162009-01-31T12:55:00.000-05:002009-01-31T12:55:00.000-05:00Happy Adoption Day! love, PatriciaHappy Adoption Day! <BR/>love, PatriciaPatriciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16917063925051460159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-4644661177078396832009-01-31T12:09:00.000-05:002009-01-31T12:09:00.000-05:00Your boys questions are so profound. I am in awe o...Your boys questions are so profound. I am in awe of the minds they have been given. I am also in awe of your loving responses and never-ending patience. As a mom to a 2 year old from Ethiopia, I come here to learn (and laugh and just enjoy), so I thank you for this post. Enjoy your adoption day celebration. I'd love to hear your thoughts some day about the concept of celebrating the boys uniqueness in being adopted and Haitian vs. belonging to your family and being "American." I am trying to find a healthy balance in our lives so our kids won't have a complete identity crisis...if that's even possible.Mark and Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15092529758375734896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-57449209791677725842009-01-31T09:15:00.000-05:002009-01-31T09:15:00.000-05:00I continue to be in awe of the deep, deep question...I continue to be in awe of the deep, deep questions your boys ask! I am learning so much in your amazing responses! Thank you for openly sharing with all of us! I ususally read your posts in my blog reader, so hadn't seen the picture at the top with the JOY - I LOVE IT! May have to use that for our Christmas picture next year!Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00369140879056581053noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-23777951188734933872009-01-31T08:43:00.000-05:002009-01-31T08:43:00.000-05:00Tough job/J Mcs but one you are heartily assured o...Tough job/J Mcs but one you are heartily assured of doing well. pLEASE DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE GOODNESS SPREAD. XXElyssium Earthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16909148549542032188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-42704722193423434612009-01-31T07:16:00.000-05:002009-01-31T07:16:00.000-05:00As always THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR HEART and you...As always THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR HEART and yours SONS!<BR/>HAPPY 4 YEARS!!!Hollihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17769334647328805623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-84434941418796992972009-01-31T05:07:00.000-05:002009-01-31T05:07:00.000-05:00Very touching post. Your courage is inspiring yet ...Very touching post. Your courage is inspiring yet again. The love of your family will not fail. Happy anniversary!Andromeda Jazmonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12355192738014962965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-89376710296471665792009-01-31T02:16:00.000-05:002009-01-31T02:16:00.000-05:00Thank you for sharing! Your kids amaze me. Happy a...Thank you for sharing! Your kids amaze me. Happy adoption day!<BR/><BR/>At the end of the week we celebarte<BR/>7 month home (same time as she has been in state care before)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-47340690165985630642009-01-30T23:11:00.000-05:002009-01-30T23:11:00.000-05:00We just celebrated out sixth Family Day with our t...We just celebrated out sixth Family Day with our twins and I was so happy to read your post because, like Kyle and Owen, my daughters (adopted domestically at 9 weeks old) also look at their adoption very differently. I also have one child who has frequent nightmares about being abandoned, neglected or forgotten. Because we have an open adoption I am able to give her and her sister as much information as possible, as well as the assurances you give you sons, but it always breaks my heart just a little bit that nomatter what I say, the nightmares will continue until she manages to find a way to process it all and fit it into her life. And I'm also heartened by just how happy she is, despite her fears.<BR/>So thanks for sharing your story; it's comforting to see other families dealing with the same issues.<BR/>TracyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-55154953029101873262009-01-30T23:08:00.000-05:002009-01-30T23:08:00.000-05:00Happy Adoption Day !!!Happy Adoption Day !!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-70098686542456801692009-01-30T23:01:00.000-05:002009-01-30T23:01:00.000-05:00Oh boy. That just made me sob. My kiddo is only tw...Oh boy. That just made me sob. My kiddo is only two so were not yet having these talks but I know they are coming. Its amazing how aware kids are at a very young age that adoption is joy and loss-and those two emotions are so intertwined its hard to figure out what to feel. <BR/>My dad adopted me and being an adoptee and a adoptive parent has been very interesting thus far, my husband was also adopted so we are all going to have some deep convertions...<BR/>Anyway, thank you again for sharing your stories, I am always moved by your posts.tshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12444829568322030127noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-86855091751560852182009-01-30T22:47:00.000-05:002009-01-30T22:47:00.000-05:00Have a WONDERFUL family weekend. I love this post....Have a WONDERFUL family weekend. I love this post. We are out of town for a litte family weekend of our own. I have Zoe in the hotel bed with me and we looked through all the pictures. She can't help but to smile when she sees the kids. She loves them as much as we do!! <BR/><BR/>Happy Adoption Day! <BR/>WE LOVE YOU!!! <BR/>-Lori & ZoeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-37462347867021800682009-01-30T22:00:00.000-05:002009-01-30T22:00:00.000-05:00It is just fascinating to me to read how these lit...It is just fascinating to me to read how these little minds work. I think it really says something beautiful that your love is an anchor for them while they explore these very deep queestions.Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13520714506544863902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-79022562940330374792009-01-30T21:03:00.000-05:002009-01-30T21:03:00.000-05:00Thank you so much for this reflection. My little b...Thank you so much for this reflection. My little beloved is 10 months old and is adopted from Ethiopia. Your literal examples of dialogue with your sons helps me to imagine and practice the conversations I hope my son brings to me - and I say I hope he speaks to me as Kyle and Owen speak to you because I know how significant it is for our children to trust us with their thoughts just as their lives have been entrusted to us. Thank you thank you.M and Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00557944772547796979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-17356188128596246032009-01-30T21:02:00.000-05:002009-01-30T21:02:00.000-05:00Thank you for sharing. As we wait for our son to ...Thank you for sharing. As we wait for our son to come home, we continue to read, read, read. We are trying to educate ourselves to be able to answer the inevitable questions that will come. I so appreciate your honesty and insight into what both boys are experiencing at this point.<BR/><BR/>ErinAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35860543.post-54050671692230413752009-01-30T21:01:00.000-05:002009-01-30T21:01:00.000-05:00Your post just made me cry and cry. It's beautiful...Your post just made me cry and cry. It's beautiful. We are approaching our first Family Day (next week) with our two 1.5 year-olds and I feel like I learn from you by reading about your experiences with K and O. Our son, in particular, is very sensitive and I can imagine him asking us these questions some day. Thank you for sharing.Life in the Bendhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07189559359188393372noreply@blogger.com