"I Broke It."

Scariest part about having 2 year old twins... those times when you seriously just cannot be in two places at once and you seriously need to be. This morning, for whatever reason, Owen decided to remove his own diaper (which had a huuuuuge poop in it). Luckily, I caught him in the act just in time. I was in the kitchen and I heard him in the playroom saying to himself, "Whoa Owen! Biiiiig poopie in there! Whoa Owen!!!" I ran in as fast as I possibly could. He's been so good at potty training lately but every once in a while he's just way too busy to bother with the toilet (why take the time to do that when you can just conveniently unload right in your diaper?!) Anyway... I had Owen lying on the floor of the playroom while I tried to contain the situation (so to speak), and clean him up. Very shortly into this I heard Kyle's little pitter patter of feet disappear somewhere off of the kitchen (I figured he was going to do something he should not do in either the laundry room or the bathroom). I yelled out, "Kyle?!" and he did not respond. I could hear him moving about, up to no good. I yelled louder, "Kyle? Where are you?" and again he did not respond. I shouted out, "You better not make Mommy mad!!" At that point, I was into about wipe #21 with Owen, frantically trying to move as quickly as humanly possible, knowing that Kyle was definately doing something he should not do in either the laundry room or the bathroom. It took about 51 wipes to finally clean up the Owen situation. At around wipe #45 Kyle emerged on the scene appearing ever-so-innocent as he looked on at the Owen-clean-up-wrap-up. From about wipe #46 through about wipe #51 this is the conversation that occured (Kyle and I leaning over Owen, who is lying on the floor with his legs spread):

Owen: Kyle, what you were doing?
Kyle: Oh, I was in the bathroom.
Owen: Kyle, what you were doing in the bathroom? You did a pee pee?
Kyle: Nope!
Heather: Kyle, tell Mama-- what were you doing in the bathroom?
Kyle: Um, I was in there.
Heather: Yes, doing what???
Kyle: Um, I was playing a little bit in there.
Heather: Oh God, I'm scared to see this.
Owen: Oh God!
Heather: Owen, I said Oh gosh!
Owen: Oh. O.k. Oh gosh!
Heather: Yes, that's how we say it -- oh gosh!
Kyle: I broke it.
Heather: Oh God, what?!
Owen: Oh God!
Kyle: I broke it.
Heather: Oh gosh.
Owen: Oh God!
Heather: O.k., o.k., listen to me-- boys-- go play. Go play. And be good. I'll be right back.

Seriously, my heart was racing as I entered the bathroom. What I found was not nearly as bad as I had imagined. The toilet paper roll on the wall was completely empty. There was an additional completely empty paper roll sitting on the counter. The toilet was completely-overflowing-full-of-toilet-paper and endlessly-running-but-not-able-to-flush. I locked the door, pulled out mounds and mounds of soaking wet toilet paper, and then cleaned the bathroom up. As I was about to unlock the door I paused to look at myself in the mirror. I thought, "O.k., this isn't that bad. Not that bad at all. At least some of my make-up is still in place. And my outfit has no poop on it, just toilet water drip spots. O.k. Wait, where are they now???" As I ran to try to find them I checked my watch. 8:03 a.m. My first meeting of the day is at 9:00. Just another Manic Monday.