Things That Make Me Really Fuming Angry & Things That Don't

When they're good they're very, very good and when they're bad they're horrid. So far my biggest challenge as a mother has been keeping my cool in moments when I'm seriously mad/frustrated with my children. I know all kids test their parents' patience. But I swear, Kyle and Owen are -- in some ways -- more challenging than most... because: #1) they are conspiring twins who just feed off of each other in good times and in bad, and #2) they each have more energy and physical brute strength than the average human being [let alone the average 3 year old] and TOGETHER their level of energy and physicality is enough to exhaust anyone's capacities [just ask anyone who has ever had to care for them for more than a couple of hours]. These boys know how to push my buttons. They know how to work together to seriously piss me off. They know how to ramp up my blood pressure through the roof in zero seconds flat. But I'm a pretty laid back mother. In some bizarre way (not sure what this actually says about me...) I can totally get into the mindset of a three year old. I totally "get it" a lot of the time... so, all things considered, I am probably able laugh at their antics a lot more than most people would. There are things that these two do that make me really fuming angry. And things that they do that just make me laugh. Luckily for all of us we're finally reaching a point now where differentiating between the two modes of misbehavior-and-mama-madness ("madness" as in fuming angry vs. "madness" as in flippin' CRAZY) has gotten to be pretty simple. Yesterday I took it upon myself to try to consciously note in my own mind a couple of the things that occured in each of the two catergories.

Things That Made Me Really Fuming Angry Yesterday:

• K & O's friend Ben Uhrig and my friend Stacey Uhrig (click here) came over to our house for the morning. Shockingly, all three boys played very nicely more-or-less-by-themselves while Stacey and I talked all morning. It was great! After lunch, when it was time for Stacey and Ben to go home, Owen --- in a very rare twist of character (it was actually the first time that I ever remember) --- absolutely refused to kiss/hug them goodbye. I take human niceness and basic social respect very seriously around here. My boys know to say goodbye when a visitor is leaving our house. Even after some prompting and probing Owen flat out refused. He sat himself down on the floor, would not even look at Ben or Stacey, and fussed. Ben's feelings were hurt. Stacey was surprised to see Owen acting this way. And I was really fuming angry. I told him to "go to his room" and he stormed up the stairs and slammed his door. A few minutes later, after Stacey and Ben had driven out of the driveway, Owen fell apart in hysterics when he realized they weren't coming back and he had lost his chance to say goodbye. In a full blown meltdown he cried: "I'm so mad at myself!" My own anger toward him immediately dissolved at that point, of course, but really --- that kind of thing --- acting like a little bugger who doesn't have the heart to say goodbye like all the rest of us... that kind of thing seriously pisses me off. Yes, yes, yes, of course I know it is normal for a three year old. Still. It makes me mad.

• Yesterday afternoon the boys were getting ready to go golfing (i.e., go to the driving range) with Braydon. Kyle loves to go. He was all wound up about it. He was jumping up and down like a crazy person. He ran in an hysteric state and slammed his body into Owen's, kissing Owen on the head. Owen shoved him off and said, "No Kyle, no thank you!" Kyle said, "Owen I was kissing you Owen!" And Owen said, "No thank you Kyle!" Kyle tried to kiss him again and Owen tried to escape. It is a huge no-no in our house to do something after someone say's no ("'No' means no, boys, 'no' means no!") I intervened: "Kyle, Owen said no. He doesn't want you to kiss him right now." "But I waaaaaaaaaant to kiss him" fussed Kyle in a whiney whiney voice (uh, I cannot stand whining). "KYLE," I said, "do not kiss him, and do not fuss!" He stomped his foot and screamed "BUT I NEED TO FUSS!" Then he took off after his brother, yelled: "I NEED TO BE RUDE AT YOU!" and then grabbed hold of three of Owen's dreadlocks and pulled them so hard that Owen's whole body fell off balance and he landed on the floor. Owen wasn't hurt. But he was pissed. And so was I. "TIME OUT KYLE! GO TO YOUR ROOM!" Yes, yes, yes, of course I know it is normal for a three year old. Still. It makes me mad.

Things That Did Not Make Me Really Fuming Angry Yesterday:

• Yesterday morning the boys were happily playing with play dough at the kitchen table. We have tons of play dough toys and they'll sit for long stretches of time (long stretch of time for K & O to sit = 10-15 minutes max) playing with play dough. They seemed content. I said, "I'm going to be back in 2 minutes! I just need to check my email real quick!" and left them alone in the kitchen to go to my computer. When I returned 2 minutes later, this is what I found:

• While we were waiting for Stacey and Ben to arrive the boys were playing in the garage/driveway while I emptied the dishwasher. The kitchen door was open and I could hear them playing happily out there. I kept hearing something about "the tea"/"let's pretend we're having teas!" Etc. I figured they were pretending something about making tea/pouring tea/drinking tea/etc. Then they started yelling in for me: "MAMA! Come see us! We have tea in our hair! We have tea!!! We have tea! leafs! Come see our HAIRS!!!" I went out there thinking "tea" and "tea leaves." Honestly, "golf tee" and "tree leaves" had never even entered my mind. This is what I found: