Braydon and I are overly educated. We both have doctorates. We read a lot. We understand the intrigue of thinking deep thoughts and pondering life's curiosities. However, we're regularly stumped by the questions our two three year old's pose. Is there a "right" answer????????????? Are there cliff notes on any of this??????
Top Ten K & O Questions From the Past Few Days:
- What is 'God'?
- Mommy, you have a beard under your armpits?
- Why is Curious George so curious?
- In the toilet, when I flush it, where do my poopies go?
- Why are spectacled bears afraid of pumas?
- Mommy, what are you afraid of?
- Do girl bugs have a vagina?
- But mommy, why aren't your breasts so big and huge like that other lady's breasts?
- When can I get a real real trombone - a real instrument trombone - so I can make trombone music - WHEN?
- When I'm grown up can I have a penis and a vagina both??
P.S. Since writing this post I've received the funniest emails this morning from people asking me what I actually have said in response to these questions!! Just for the heck-of-it, here ya go:
- What is 'God'? What went through my head: "Oh my God, I have no idea!!!" What came outta my mouth: "Go ask Papi!"
- Mommy, you have a beard under your armpits? What went through my head: "Oh my God, I really need to shave. When did I last shave???" What came outta my mouth: "Yes, sweetie, it is kinda like a beard!"
- Why is Curious George so curious? What went through my head: "Oh my God, I HATE these freeeekin' Curious George books soooooooooo much." What came outta my mouth: "I don't know why sweetie. Why do you think he's so curious!??"
- In the toilet, when I flush it, where do my poopies go? What went through my head: "Oh my God, why do we alllllllllllllllwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyys have to talk about poopies around here?" What came outta my mouth: "Go ask Papi!"
- Why are spectacled bears afraid of pumas? What went through my head: "Oh my God, I HATE these freeeekin' Diego videos soooooooooo much." What came outta my mouth: "I don't know why sweetie. Why do you think they're afraid of pumas!??"
- Mommy, what are you afraid of? What went through my head: "Oh my God, where do I even begin?? Ummmm.... I'm afraid of you dying; I'm afraid of your brother dying; I'm afraid that you'll both hate me when you're teenagers; I'm afraid you'll get a terrible terminal illness; I'm afraid you'll never be able to catch a cab in a city; I'm afraid I love you too much; I'm afraid of dark alleys and scary men; I'm afraid our house is going to burn to the ground and we're going to lose everything; I'm afraid that you and your brother will drown in the swimming pool because I'm so exhausted that I can barely keep my eyes open right now..............." What came outta my mouth: "Who wants a snack?!!!"
- Do girl bugs have a vagina? What went through my head: "Oh my God, I have no idea." What came outta my mouth: "Go ask Papi."
- But mommy, why aren't your breasts so big and huge like that other lady's breasts? What went through my head: "Oh my God." What came outta my mouth: "Who wants a snack?!!!"
- When can I get a real real trombone - a real instrument trombone - so I can make trombone music - WHEN? What went through my head: "Oh my God, how much does a real trombone cost??? How heavy are they? Could he even hold one??" What came outta my mouth: "Maybe for your birthday sweetie?!!"
- When I'm grown up can I have a penis and a vagina both?? What went through my head: "Oh my God, I suppose that if they can do surgery to change the genitalia then they could technically do surgery to give someone both, right? Well, at least by the time he's 21 they'll probably have that technology in place, right???" What came outta my mouth: "When you're 18 sweetie, then you can make that decision for yourself. And I'll always love you no matter what because I am your Mama. Now, who wants a snack?!"
13 comments:
I know the answer to #4. I tell Glenys it goes in pipes under the street. So far that has been a fine answer.
Beverly
OMG - I am stumped. I would love to hear the answer to number 9. In my house, the answer would probably be "when you are big and grown up and HAVE YOUR OWN HOME!"
:)
OMG!!! Tooo funny!! Right now my 8 month old asks NO questions (that I can understand, anyway! lol) so yours are a great lesson on what to expect! :)
Blessings and glad I found your blog!
L.
Ethio-journey: http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=32b45f4a567aac1acf0204&skin_id=701&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url
My stomach hurts from laughing, oh too funny.
My girls ask some real doozies and my favourite response seems to be "Who wants a snack", they seem to forget real quickly when the topic of food gets thrown about, thank goodness.
What are we going to do when that one fails, oh I shudder to think.
hahahaha number 2 & 8 are so funny. my favorite is the "Who wants a snack" trick...it's a classic
Reminds me of the "blah, blah, blah, would you pass the bean dip?" answer we give to those awful adoption questions! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
d:D
Toooooo funny! I'm laughing my head off!
I'm laughing till I cry, but thankfully my girls aren't there yet. I'm guessing I still have a little time. I hope....
I just had to show my husband your boys' questions and found the update with your answers. We're laughing so hard tears are rolling down our cheeks... probably bc our kid is not yet 2, so we're nowhere close to having these kind of conversations. However, I'm keeping this list as a cheat sheet.
Happy friday.
Thanks to everyone who left comments here today! :) It is so fun to know people are actually getting a kick out of all this! ;0
Love and Happy Weekend,
Heather
This is hilarious!
Beware though... when my Charlie was that age, I gave him a lot of "who wants a snack" answers. At Christmas time, when he kept hearing that Santa knew everything, we went to my husbands faculty party. The headmaster played Santa, and Charlie was first in line to get on his lap. After about 20 minutes of him up there, I finally dragged him off saying other kids needed a turn. He kept begging "but I want to ask him one more thing!" I thought I had the greediest child ever. Turns out he didn't ask for a single present, he asked every question he had stored up that he didn't have a answer to... a few of the ones you have listed here! The headmaster had tears of laughter rolling down his cheeks afterwards when he told us!
thank you so much for the answers! you made my day!
oh geez -- I'm literally laughing out loud, but trying to do it quietly so as not to wake anyone. I LOVE it!
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