Wednesday, January 16, 2008


Monday night Kyle was seeming under the weather. We took his temperature and sure enough he was running a slight fever. He slept through the night fine, but was lethargic and repeatedly saying, "I'm sick" when he woke up Tuesday morning. He was running a fever. No way he was going to school. Owen was a crumbled crying mess the instant we suggested that he go to school without his brother. Then Kyle caught wind of it and he was a wreck over that prospect too. The two of them begged us -- BEGGED US (with tears streaming down Owen's cheeks and Kyle rubbing Owen's back) -- to please let Owen stay home too. Braydon and I 'conferenced' out of their earshot; "Some day they're going to have to separate. But do we force it now? At age three? When one of them is sick?" We caved quickly. "O.k., you're both staying home, for a quiet Sick Day at home." Unfortunately, or fortunately as the case may be, Kyle was not sick enough to really be sick (i.e., he sure wasn't acting sick). And Owen... well, Owen was never even remotely sick to begin with. A "quiet Sick Day at home"??? Yeah, right. It was a normal day at home (anything but quiet). Nonetheless, Sick Days -- for any one (or more) of the four of us -- send our barely-manageable life into a tailspin. If you are a dual-career couple with young children and complicated childcare arrangements and no extended family living anywhere even remotely near you, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you're not, then all you need to do is ask someone like that and they'll tell you: Sick Days send the whole house of cards tumbling to the ground. I feel like a juggler with all of my balls in the air. On Sick Days it feels like all the balls just drop, no matter how hard I try to keep them up. And then add that this is the first week of the Spring Semester for a Professor-Mom-Family... and that Professor-Mom is actually pregnant... and... well, the whole thing is just a mess. Kyle was bouncing off the walls when he woke up this morning, saying, "I'm all better! I'm not sick!" and very excited to go to school. No fever. We sent them both off and breathed a sigh of relief that we got off easy (just one Sick Day). But then at 10:00 a.m., the dreaded. School called to say Kyle was sick and we needed to come get him. Of course Owen insisted on coming home too. And we weren't going to put up a fight in the middle of the Acorn Room. So home they came. They played and played and played all day. Again, nothing quiet about this "Sick Day." They chased each other around the house screaming and tackling and wrestling, they played airplanes, they played dress up. We left them unsupervised in Kyle's room for a few minutes and found that they had somehow gotten Kyle's bedroom window open (like, fully open to the outside), and were spitting out the window watching their spit drop to the ground two floors below (talk about seriously dangerous; it scares the geebers out of us to think of how easily they could have fallen out of that window). At one point they jumped on the guest room beds for a full hour straight (remember that video Braydon did of them bed-jumping at the end of this past summer? Well, it was just like that). At lunchtime they ate their lunches that I had packed for them for school today. See photo above. Do either of these two look sick to you??? Hopefully we'll get back on track tomorrow.


Jess said...

Alex the nanny isn't always available? How inconvenient.

You know I'm glad you 'fessed up about the open second story window. I had another "bad mommy moment" endangering my little one just today. Always glad to see it's not just me.

P.S. The K rubbing O's back thing is adorable.

Mayhem said...

You have my sympathy for sure. (Though it's good that Kyle's not super sick, of course.)

When the carefully planned schedule at work or at home gets messed up, a normally fun-crazy day can turn into a frantic-crazy day.

Beloved has been away from home for six day (six days!) and though it was planned work-related travel, it's a good thing he gets home tomorrow because I am fried!

Here's to the health of your whole family!

Anonymous said...

Hello there,
I'll start by apologizing as my post is going to be long.
I stumbled upon your blog and was just so curious/ I had reservations about your family I decided to read a bit more.
Please understand the only other families I know/knew like yours are Brad Pitt & Jolie, and Madonna. I'm sure you do know the media has been unkind with the portrayal of their adoptions as white people collecting exotic accessories just because they can. I do not believe it, it's far too big a commitment it wouldn't be worth it. But the seed of doubt had been planted at the back of my mind nonetheless. (If you don't know already, I am a black woman).

I also thought to myself, these kids are going to be "coconuts" black on the outside, white on the inside, identity problems ahead. (Then again I, a black woman, raised by black birth parents grapple with my identity at times?!?! mmm, food for thought)

However as I started reading, I realised I had to go right from the beginning so I did. And I just couldn't stop, for hours on end at times. I had to read every post, with each one shattering my preconceptions. To me your blog is an educational documentary, entertainment, and a pretty darn good love/romantic story.

I have no worries (not that I should have any, or any significance for that matter) about those boys. From what I see they are very lucky (you probably don't see it that way and I understand) that there are people like you in the world. Sure they will largely be "white" as they are being raised by you but what's the alternative? And is it really a problem? These are questions I ask myself and I find more and more I am completely in awe of you. I truly admire and applaud you for how it seems you go out of your way to understand and instill blackness in your boys. I doubt I know as much as you do about blackness and black culture with all those books you've read! I wouldn't know where to start if presented with black hair that need to be loc'd. You do a marvellous job of it.

You did for me what the celebrities couldn't do, enlighten me about adoption and interracial families. I wish this was available to everybody. Through your blog I'm also just astounded by how many families like yours are out there. It's truly inspiring when people choose to adopt and not only that but go one further and cross races, the challenges of which I can only imagine. I hope that your children understand and apreciate when they are older that it could have been easier for you to a) not adopt at all or b)adopt within your own race. Instead you did what you did because of love and love alone (I could be wrong, but this is just my assessment from reading your blog). I'm sure they give you plenty of joy in return they are such adorable kids, in fact your whole family is. I just want to thank you again and all those who adopt because really ADOPTION IS LOVE.

PS: Please forgive me if any of what I've written might be offensive, just delete part or all of this post if it is. I just want to be honest. Offend is the last thing I want to do, however if I am, out of ignorance I am open to education. I couldn't find alternatives for my use of "coconut" or "white" as I did but I'm sure there must be a better way to articulate this without risking offence.

Twins are something else, I have twin cousins who we used to laugh at saying they would never say I've got 50c and he's got 50c, it's always, ALWAYS, WE'VE got a $1. It takes a twin to understand that, we surely could never unerstand the intense need for one-ness. Luckily for them they met twin girls with an even more intense need for one-ness. One twin boy met one twin girl and "you know what,I'm a twin" "no kidding, I'm a twin too, can we have a double date?" They clicked and the 2 sets are now married and live in the same house! Always have, and move houses together if they have to and the arrangement suits them perfectly. They were even pregnant at the same times! Only problem is, when they make a bad decision, all 4 of them do! This might be a glimpse for you into the future with those "arranged marriages". I can send you their picture if you like, not for internet publication though, they'll kill me otherwise!


Heather said...

Dear Emma (anonymous comment above),
Thank you so much for your comment. This has to be the most meaningful comment we've ever received on this blog. I was on the edge of my seat reading every line that you wrote. Thank you so much for writing and sharing your honest thoughts. It means so incredibly much to me. I can't even explain how much! Thank you. Please feel free to email me anytime off-blog at --I'd love to connect with you (and of course I'd love to see the photos of the double twin sets!!!!). Again, thanks so much Emma!

laurafingerson said...

In yet another moment of "wow, Heather and I can be a lot alike," I see that each of your boys has a candle at their place (two candles?). So do my girls! Are we Scandinavian or what?!