Wednesday, October 15, 2008

In memoriam: Eric Bonde

Since Tuesday one week ago, Heather's family has been coping with an unimaginable tragedy. A tragedy no family should have to face, one no parent should ever have to endure. A tragedy I don't think we can really ever understand.

Six weeks after Heather's cousin, Karen Stasko, died of cancer, Karen's 34 year old brother, Eric Bonde, ended his own life.

Heather's aunt and uncle, now have only memories of their children. And Heather, her parents and sister, have only photos and stories.

There are some who will condemn Eric's action, some who will blame his parents or friends, some who will claim that he was selfish or weak and some who will damn him forever. Anyone who does this, does so out of ignorance or malice, and in the Johnson family, there is no room for either.

Despite family issues that everyone has, the Bonde family and the Johnson family are the tightest, most loving I have ever known. They are generous in the ways that matter, they are generous in love. They have deep faith and all of us know that Karen and Eric are together, in a better place, watching over the entire family, with warmth and love.

There is nothing that can replace your children, and as a father of 4 year olds and a 4 month old, I can not even allow myself to imagine that loss. Even conjuring it as a possibility is too much to bear. I am unable to imagine how Karen and Eric's mother and father will go forward, although I know they will.

I choose to look to the future with hope for my babies. And if there is anything that tells me that hope is reasonable, it's in seeing K&O playing with the other kids at the Bonde's house, in the beautiful fall New England sunlight. And watching Eric's mother adore Meera's squeal of delight and hearing the stories of friends and family as they remember Eric in the most important ways. With love.

We will never really know what brought Eric to that place, but we know his suffering is over and he is now at peace



Thank you to everyone who checked in on us during our blogging break, we appreciate it very very much.

38 comments:

Rebekah Hubley said...

praying for you guys...I can't even imagine!!!

Rachel said...

I am so sorry for your family's loss. My families thoughts are with yours.

Kathy said...

Our prayers are with your family.

Kristen said...

I just wanted to offer my condolences to Karen and her family. I'm so, so sorry to hear about this. I'll be keeping your family in my thoughts.

Kristen

Me said...

Having a family member myself that ended his own life I understand the pain and unbelief and grief. You're right, not one of us can judge them in any way. I am so sorry for this family's loss. You will all be in my prayers.

Lila-a faithful reader who never comments

Mom to 3 said...

I am so incredibly sorry to hear about Eric. My heart and goes out to Heather and the Bonde family. You have my thoughts and prayers.

Mark and Sarah said...

My thoughts and prayers are with your whole family. May you all find peace in the midst of this tragedy. I am speechless with sadness for you all.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry- I lost my Dad and
stepmom within 3 weeks- a few
years ago- Take care of
yourselves-
Your soul will be delicate
for a while......

honor22 said...

I am so sorry to hear about this tragedy. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Erin

SC said...

Thinking of you all.

I'm so often astounded at how clearly and sensitively you both can write about such complicated and difficult pieces of life. It to, provides hope and comfort.

manaallamano said...

I am so sorry you guys.

glamah16 said...

How very sorry I am to hear this. The poor parents to lose one child and then another. Stay strong and I will keep you in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

OMG, my thoughts and prayers are with Karen's family and to Heather's family. What a tragedy of enormous proportion, beyond what words of condolence can convey. I am so sorry to hear about the death of Eric. Was this related to the death of Karen?

Deanna said...

I am a fellow blogger who enjoys the stories of your wonderful family. I was afraid with no posts that there was something taking place in your family. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Now Karen's children have two angels to watch over them. Sometimes tragedy is too much for individuals to bear but we are never the ones who should place judgement. May God offer all your family peace during this tragic time.

Claudia and John said...

Our heart and love goes out to you all in this trying time. Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Also know that we are here for you.

Love and Hugs,
Claudia

Beth said...

I am so sorry for your loss. My partner, Lisa, and I were hoping you were all just taking a break again and that you weren't dealing with a trajedy. Please know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

Karen Vitek said...

My heart goes out to all of you as I know this has to be the most painful of times. You are all in my thoughts and prayers and my hope is that you will receive comfort from knowing that so many people are thinking of you and praying for you.

Patricia said...

That was beautiful, Braydon. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm thinking of all of you constantly.

Patricia

sarah. said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as well.
Thanks for posting.

Julie said...

I am so sorry to hear about this loss in your family. My thoughts are with you.

Rose Anne said...

My thoughts and Prayers are with your entire family!
It takes a strong family that pulls together to be able to get through this kind of tragic event...May god wrap all of you in his arms !
Rose Anne

Ani said...

I am so sorry for this tragic loss. My thoughts and prayers are with your family, especially with Karen and Eric's parents.

God bless.

Heather said...

Oh wow, I'm so sorry to hear this type of tragedy has touched your family. A couple years ago my wife lost her cousin to bipolar disorder (suicide). It was and continues to be one of the hardest losses I have ever dealt with - and I've lost most of my family. We're praying for you all and all of the family. Your hopeful post was very inspiring. God's Peace.

Anonymous said...

I grieve for your family. My mother took her own life and while she was 79, it was still such a horrific shock. That was over 8 years ago and it still haunts me at times. The only thing I can say is that while you never get over it, you do learn to live along side it and children, or in my case grandchildren, are the best remedy ever. Life goes on and most of the memories are the good and loving times.

Take care of yourselves.

Kat

Heather said...

I am so sorry for your loss. What terrible tragedies, one after the other. My thoughts are with your family.

HCP

insanemommy said...

Oh, my g-d Heather and Brandon. My heart breaks for you. I am so, so sorry. Thankfully you'll always have the memories.....so sad.

Rony

Single PAP said...

oh my goodness. i am so sorry to read this and will keep the johnson and bonde families in my prayers.

Bek said...

My heart is aching for your family right now. They will be in our prayers. Two losses in such a short time is devistating no matter how it happens.

It makes me want to hug my sisters....

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry for you loss. I will be sending well wishes to your family and to the Bondes. Sibling bonds are strong and beautiful.

Anonymous said...

I am so very sorry for your family's loss. When I first read this yesterday, I could not even comment, and if it feels like that for me what must it be like for your family. You will be in thoughts and prayers.

chancesmom

Chapter Two Manmi said...

I'm praying for you and your family, Heather. I hope you are feeling God's love and peace.

Chapter Two Manmi said...

I'm praying for you and your family, Heather. I hope you are feeling God's love and peace.

Chapter Two Manmi said...

I'm praying for you and your family, Heather. I hope you are feeling God's love and peace.

Tracy R said...

What a tragedy. I'm so sorry for all the losses you've been experiencing of late and pray that peace descends upon you soon.
Tracy

Memphislis said...

You have my prayers. I am very sorry.

Malia'sMama said...

I am so very, very sorry. And, especially for their poor parents... oh my God.

Leslie said...

I am so sorry. Praying for your family.

Holli said...

praying for your family and especially for Eric and Karens mom and dad!
much love from us to you!