Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Our Big O

Owen is very rambunctious and struggles daily to not get in trouble at school and at home. He wants to please, he wants to "do good," he wants everyone to love him. But it isn't easy for him. He is a very spirited little dude with a huge personality that fills up a room (and can quickly drive a parent/teacher/nanny crazy with his constant activity, boundless energy, and consistent-never-ceasing-testing-of-the-boundaries). For the most part we try to work with it, not against it. (Easier said than done.) And luckily for us we have found a school that -- at least so far -- has that same philosophy. Owen has lots of good days and also lots of bad days at school. He almost never does stuff that is really bad, it is more that he is just always pushing the limits and feeling out the bounds. Last night, while getting ready for bed, Owen told me that his day at school yesterday (Tuesday) was his "best day ever" and he was very proud of himself that he was "good behavior all day" and "not even a little bit of acting up" and that he was "so good all the way to outer space" etc etc etc.  He was beaming with pride as he went on and on and on. He actually asked me if I'd please call his teacher on the phone to ask how he did (this was a new request from him)... he wanted me to hear it directly from her... I told him that we didn't need to call Miss Joyce to know that he did a good job, that I entirely believed him, and that I was just very happy that he felt so good about his day and that he was so proud of himself, that he felt so good inside, etc. He was very, very pleased with himself. He went to bed feeling on top of the world. After he was asleep I did end up asking his teacher about his day (I was just so curious). And she confirmed that he had a brilliant day.

A few hours into the night Braydon and I woke up to Owen crying loudly and mournfully in his bed. He was having a terrible nightmare-- a bad dream in which Braydon "burned him and put him into a fire" and Owen was "dying" and "Papi wouldn't say goodbye to me even though he knew I was dying and going to Heaven forever." Braydon carried him into our room and Owen was still crying deeply as he crawled into our bed in the middle of the night. He wrapped himself around Braydon and slept in his arms until morning.

It was a reminder, yet again, of the tender spots in our rough-and-tumble boy. Not that we ever forget, not even for a minute, but there it was again.... the loss/abandonment/fear issues rising to the surface --not coincidentally, after a day of feeling very good about himself and going to bed feeling very secure in who he is and where he stands.


 
 

3 comments:

Mark and Sarah said...

Oh the injustice. It just brings tears to my eyes to think of how haunting those early experiences are for our children--long after they're over. Owen is such an amazing child, thanks for sharing.

Shannon- said...

This breaks my heart. You must be such strong parents to work through this every day. Peace.

Juli said...

My emotions were all over the map reading this post. He is so lucky to have you and Braydon as parents.