Monday, March 15, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Posted by Heather at 9:24 PM
Friday, March 05, 2010
Top 10: Reasons For Going Private
Top 10: Reasons For Going Private
- We are so very sick and tired of the hurtful, nasty comments. In truth, we get about 100 positive comments for every negative one. But the negativity stings. Trying to stay honest, and allow ourselves to be vulnerable, while people (most of whom find ways to stay anonymous) slap us in the face... it has been very challenging. We've tried to keep our chins up. But we can't do it anymore. It came down to this: quit blogging altogether, or go private. We've decided to try going private.
- Comments, like this one, from a couple of months ago: "I read your blog and enjoy your discussions. However your grammar makes me wince. It detracts from the great content. I believe that all writing should use appropriate grammar and syntax. You really need to take a writing course." Nice. Honestly, I am an academic, a published author (of "real" publications). I know how to write with formal prose and proper grammar. I choose not to on this blog. For a bunch of reasons. And I don't want to have to defend that.
- But the comments that really cut deep are the ones about more substantive aspects of our lives. Comments, like this one, from a couple of weeks ago: "Why is it that adoptive White parents feel the need to mess with Black childrens' hair! Your kids are NOT Jamaican, why the forced dreadlocks??!! It looks ridiculous! You aren't raising Bob Marley's!"
- Or, comments, like this one, from a few days ago: "If it is so hard for you to leave your baby then why do you do it? Mothers who really care about their children prioritize their children over their own selfish desire to WORK. If a woman isn't willing to dedicate herself fully to raising her children then she shouldn't have children in the first place, let alone adopt them!!! Nothing is more important than your children. If you truly cared you would not leave them with a NANNY!!!!!!!!"
- Or, comments, like this one, from yesterday (comment made to a post I later removed which included photos of our baby Meera, not always fully clothed): "You people are sickos! Seriously! You're sick! You should be arrested and jailed for these photos of your daughter. This is classified as child porn. You are sick!!!!!!!"
- If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. Right? Right. Well, we've tried to stick it out, and maybe we're wimps, or weak, or too sensitive... I don't know. However you look at it, we're ready to get out of the kitchen. Or, alternatively, (as I like to think of it), we're kicking the haters out of our kitchen. Because in our kitchen we have rules. The same rules that apply to every room of our home. And right at the top of the 'House Rules List' is this one: If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. At least with a private blog we can lay down the law-- if readers don't play by the rules they're not invited to our Party [of Five].
- There are lots of other benefits to going private too. Benefits we've been contemplating for a long time now. First and foremost is that we will feel more free to write about some of our more real issues, our more sensitive subjects, our more touchy topics. We want to write more, for example, about our trials, tribulations, and triumphs in regards to issues related to working women/dual-career-households/egalitarian relationships/gender-bending/etc. We have felt very constrained in this arena because we've been so fretful of the dreaded negative comments to anything we post on this subject. We look forward to being able to be less "careful" where these subjects are concerned.
- We'll feel more liberated to write without worrying about who might be reading. This has been especially problematic where our own professional lives are concerned. I have always worried about students of mine, colleagues of mine, or potential professional connections of whatever sort reading this blog. In many respects, this blog has kept me grounded and real and honest. It allows that gray fuzzy area between the public and the private to be more transparent. But in other ways I look forward to not worrying so much about the 'who might be reading?' question.
- Photos. With a private blog we'll be more comfortable continuing to post photos of our children on the internet. We are always cognizant of the fact that nothing on the web is truly "secure." But a private blog will help us feel a little less vulnerable.
- K & O are turning six in May. Meera is turning two in May. They are getting older. How will they feel about this old blog when they're teenagers and older? Going private will feel a little less 'exposed,' and, for their sakes especially, I think that is more and more important as they get older.
*For this reason, we will be keeping this blog located here for at least a good long while. People will thus still be able to find us, and, if so inclined, can always request access to our new 'private' blog.
So, adios --for now-- amigos! And hello to a whole new era of our blogging!
Posted by Heather at 7:33 PM 38 comments
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Blog Going Private
On Sunday, March 14 this blog will be going private. If you are interested in continuing reading, please email me at hbj2 (at) lehigh (dot) edu
Thanks for reading all this time y'all!
Posted by Heather at 7:24 AM
Sunday, February 28, 2010
February Funk
Dear February 2010,
Good Riddance.
Sincerely, The J-Ms
Posted by Heather at 8:42 PM 9 comments
Gospel Music at River Valley
On Saturday I had the good fortune of brining K & O to what is, thankfully, starting to be a tradition - The Brockington Ensemble's concert at River Valley Waldorf School.
Although it's a bit strange for me, as a white man with two black sons to be at an almost all white school listening to an all black choir who are raising the roof and praising, with a lot of eyes on us and how we three handle the entire thing.... despite that hyper awareness and sense of vulnerability, we had a great time and the boys loved the music.
During the intermission, they ran up to the drummer and chatted it up and tried out the cymbals. During the final song when everyone got up to "get up" we got up and were a witness along with the rising euphoria of the ensemble. Pretty awesome.
Posted by Unknown at 8:22 PM 0 comments
Friday, February 26, 2010
Sleeping Together For At Least One Year
Posted by Heather at 9:45 PM 4 comments
Notes From the Trenches of (Yet Another) Snow Day
Seriously, the biggest, most grueling task of being home with the boys all day long (i.e., with them having no school, no outings, no nothing allllll daaaaaaaaaaaaaaay loooooooooooooong) is the FOOD PRODUCTION. I cannot even explain how intense it is. Seriously. They eat sooooo muuuuuuuuch.And they are onlyyyyyyyyyyy fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive years old. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: What on earth will it be like when they are fifteen?????????? They eat so much. They are hungry almost all day long. They are bottomless pits. Lately Kyle, especially, is just ALWAYS hungry. He finishes a huge meal and within an hour he's asking for more food. He must be going through a growth spurt. But seriously, you have to see it to believe it. Photo above taken at 9:30 this morning. After many and multiple breakfast food items between the hours of 7:00-9:00 a.m., they were ready for "a real snack" (i.e., what most of us would consider a MEAL) at 9:30 a.m. While I drank coffee Owen had leftover pizza and Kyle had leftover ravioli with pesto and parmesan. That satisfied them for about a 1/2 hour. Over the course of the day Kyle ate 3 bananas, the two of them combined ate 5 clementines, Owen ate so many oatmeal-cranberry-white-chocolate cookies that I lost track, and they (along with their sister) consumed 1/2 gallon of whole milk. That is just in addition to their real meals and many other various snacks. For dinner they ate -- amongst other things -- an entire "Family Size" package of chicken nuggets. Keeping up with their food consumption is truly exhausting. It, alone, keeps me 100% busy all day long on a day like today. By the end of the day I want nothing-- absolutely nothing-- to do with food prep, ever again.
In a moment of brilliance we dragged an old toy from the boys' toddler-hood out of the basement. It kept them all occupied for quite some time. And it brought back a lot of memories of when K & O were M's age. It was a lot of fun, and probably (pathetic as this is...) the highlight of our day. It was not one of our greatest days. Nobody under the age of six had any major meltdowns (miraculously), Meera continued to pee (and poop today!!!!!) in the potty, and no parent lost their temper (huge accomplishment)... but Mommy cried (hard) twice, and the parental unit was not so unified (including one major blow-out). We are so sick and tired of snow, and the novelty of Snow Days has definitely worn off. But, thank God, today is all done, and tomorrow is a new day.
Posted by Heather at 8:48 PM 0 comments
Thursday, February 25, 2010
PeePee on the Potty!!! And Other Firsts!
Posted by Heather at 8:30 PM 1 comments
Another Snow Day
Posted by Heather at 8:15 PM 0 comments