Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Conversations: Q -- Revisited

For back-story to this post, click here.

The boys have not seen Q since he babysat for them a month ago. But from time to time they bring him up. For example, lately they are really into trying to learn the letters of the alphabet. They look for K's ("K for Kyle!") and O's ("O for Owen!") and H's ("H for you Mommy!!!"), etc. everywhere we go--- on street signs, store fronts, park benches, etc. Every once in a while they will randomly ask me to help them "find a Q for Q!" Last night when I as I was tucking Owen into bed, the following happened. It was totally and completely100% out of the blue----
Owen: "Mommy, Q is funny."
Heather: "Oh, Q is funny?"
O: "Yes! Q is funny! I want to see him."
H: "You do? That would be nice. Do you want me to ask him to come visit?"
O: "Yes, please tell him to come visit me."
H: "O.k. baby."

Also, a few days ago the following happened in the car. We were driving along and it had been quiet for a couple of minutes. Kyle was just staring out the back window from his carseat, and then totally and completely100% out of the blue he said----
Kyle: "Mommy, Q plays football."
Heather: "Yes! Q does play football."
K: "And Ashley plays football too?" [Ashley is Q's girlfriend]
H: "No, baby, Ashley does not play football."
K: "Why?"
H: "Um, um" [eeks, I was totally taken off guard... strangely we have hardly had to deal with any gender stuff whatsoever. Although they regularly bring up race, so far K & O have almost never brought up anything related to gender. In fact, the extent to which they both seem utterly oblivious to gender has been noticeable, and frankly, shocking, to Braydon and I...]
K: "Why Mama? Why Ashley not play football just like Q?"
H: [the pressure was on, and believe me, as soon as I let this slip out of my mouth I fully regretted it---] "Um, um, because Ashley's a girl. Only boys play football." [eeks! cringing!!!!!]
K: "Why Mama? Why only boys play football?"
H: [at this point I was looking for any out...] "Um, because baby, that has historically been the way it has been. That is just how it has been." [eeks! cringing even more, and kicking myself, thinking that I need to start getting on the ball {so to speak!} with my age-appropriate answers to 3-year-olds'-gender-related questions!!!!!]
K: "But why Mama? Why Ashley not play football?"
H: "I don't know sweetie. We will ask her next time we see her." [my pathetic cop-out]
...Then.... it had not come up again until about two days later... Braydon and I were sitting out in the lawn watching the boys ride their scooters in the driveway. Kyle rode his over to us, stepped off of it, and totally and completely 100% out of the blue said to me----
K: "Mama, what do girls play?"
H: "What?" [this was so out of the blue I literally had no idea what he was talking about]
K: "What do girls play?"
H: "Oh!" [miraculously, somehow it clicked in my mind and I understood where this was coming from--] "Oh, like, what kinds of sports do girls play?"
K: "Yes!"
H: "Oh! Girls play soccer! and golf! and baseball! and basketball! and field hockey!..." [Braydon and I both then proceeded to list every single sport we could think of until finally Kyle seemed satisfied, and interrupted us---]
K: "Oh! O.k.!"
...and with that he took off again down the driveway on his scooter!...

1 comment:

Emmers said...

I was looking back over the conversation posts (my FAVES haha) and I would like to say:

GIRLS PLAY FOOTBALL! :) The kicker for 3 years at UNLV was a girl, my very good friend plays for a women's league (and could probably have played for a men's team, she's TERRIFYING!) Although its against "gender norms" for women to play contact sports, many girls are branching out to either break gender boundaries and playing with the boys (playing football or wrestling) or by playing typically male sports in women's leagues (RUGBY!)

Love your posts, and love your kids - your posts have really opened up my eyes about adoption, and when I start my family, I am really going to consider it!