Monday, June 25, 2007

Love is a Patient Thing

Braydon and Kyle, in the woods on the waterfall hike Saturday

Today was another tough day. The plan all along had been for me to take today off to be home today with my boys because Alex had to take today off from nannying. But the truth is that even if she hadn't planned to take today off I would have called her to cancel this morning because Kyle wasn't better enough. The antibiotic is working but he still needs a lot of TLC from his Mama -- which means that Owen still needs to show us a lot how upset that makes him. I know I shouldn't complain about twins... God knows I wouldn't trade them for the world... but honestly, it is just hard sometimes. Moms of twins out there--- I know you know what I mean. Twins are awesomely wonderful and twins are also awesomely challenging. It is like so many things-- you really can't know 'till you've done it. I know that people think that any two kids wouldn't be all that different than twins-- but believe me, it is different. In so many ways. Thing is-- right now-- after this day-- I'm just waaaaaaaaaaaay too exhausted to try to articulate it all here. I need to get some sleep (especially given how very little sleep I've had in the past two nights). I have a ton of energy-- just naturally-- that's just me. But suffice it to say: there were moments today when I was at my breaking point... pure exhaustion combined with pure 3-year-old-twin-boys combined with one-of-those-boys-quite-sick-and-one-of-those-boys-quite-jealous challenge. I was on the verge of tears just from the extremeness of it all. There are days when I seriously think to myself: "They should just bring a film crew in here and do a whole season of Survivor: Dual Career & Twins Under One Roof." I try not to complain. I try to see the positives (it isn't hard to do-- there are simply so many positives). But every once in a while... the whole thing just kicks my butt. Braydon too. He's been on the edge for the past 48 hours. At least we're in this together and we can both roll our eyes at each other and cry (literally) on each other's shoulder from time to time. Growing up there was this one camp song that always stuck with me. Always. To this day I hummmm it to myself in moments of distress or joy. Here it is:

Love is a patient thing.
Love is a kind thing.
Love's not corroded with doubt,
Or anger.
Love is enough
When you've got nothing but love.
Love never ever runs out.


laurafingerson said...

Oh Heather, I *totally* know what you are going through. Last fall, with both of us working and our twins getting sick ...... it is *so* tough. Boy did we get exhausted and we were so on edge with everyone and everything. We literally took things one hour at a time. Survive this hour. Then survive the next. Everyone still alive, fed, and reasonably clean at the end of the day? We must be doing okay.

You are right, too. Two kids is different than twins. I can't even begin to list the ways.

I remember reading a Baby Blues cartoon (I love Baby Blues) where the parents are sitting on the couch with a screaming infant. What's worse than being up at 3 am with a screaming infant? *Not* having that infant to scream and be up at 3 am.

I wish, I wish I could come over and take care of everything else for you so you could spend your energy cuddling your boys.

Ani said...

i think dual careers and ONE kid under one roof is pretty challenging at times, can't fathom how much more interesting it is with twins!!!!

hope you are all feeling a bit stronger/better/happier today. said...

I love the picture of daddy holding hands with your baby!