Open Book Answers - Part 11 (by Heather)

Here are the final answers to the questions!!!!!

happy mom said... I would like a list of your favorite books about adoption and/or raising black children. More of a request I suppose.
Dear Happy Mom: I’ve been meaning to do this for a long time because several people have actually emailed me over the past few months asking me to do exactly this. I don’t have time to do this now… but I PROMISE that soon (sometime in the next couple of weeks) I will do a really good Top Ten List of Books for Black Kids. I also will give some suggestions for good books about adoption/raising black children. O.k.? Sorry to put you off, but I will make it worth the wait, I promise! In the meantime... I highly recommend the blog "A Wrung Sponge" -- click here -- the blogger is an adoptive mother of two black sons. She is a wonderful writer and avid reader and also a librarian. She often posts re: books that would be great for black kids. I really like her blog and read it often. Check it out!!!

Sarah said... One thing that I always wonder about families, in general, is about dinner and food preferences. I know you posted about how you used to cook so much and you wish you still have the time for more elaborate meals. But how do you feed 2 pre-schoolers who, presumably, have different tastes and appetites? Do they eat the same food? And when you have meals with the 4 of you together - is it a challenge to keep the 2 active guys at the table? The ideal in our family is that we sit at the table until everyone is done, but it is definitely a challenge at times and wonder if it's appropriate at this age.
Sarah, this is such a sociological question (kinda like Laura’s!!) It doesn’t surprise me at all that you asked this! Food/dinner is crazy-making and the most stressful part of my life right now. K & O are good eaters, but it is crazy and stressful nonetheless. I serve food and refuse to be a short-order cook. I give them a couple simple options for breakfast and lunch. But for dinner, they get whatever I’m making (or whatever I’m ordering for take-out as the case may be!!!!!!!) If they won’t eat what I’m serving they always have two options as alternatives (and only these two): yogurt and/or hummus on wheat bread. Usually they eat whatever we have – or at least enough of it to be o.k. But when they won’t (every once in a while), they can choose either yogurt of the hummus. We try to eat all four of us together at least 5 nights a week at this point. It is incredibly challenging to keep the “2 active guys at the table!”!!!!! INCREDIBLY CHALLENGING. Just ask anyone who has ever eaten a meal with us!!! LOL!!!!!! I’m not sure if it is age-appropriate either, but we force it. For better or for worse, we force it.

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Anonymous said... OK i've been thinking about this and it is almost midnight so I have to post before you stop the clock on this!!! LOL!!!! Question: Can you tell us your favorite family friendly meals you do regularly?? I can't even imagine trying to cook for TWO three year olds (and having to do it after a long day at work!!!)! We have one and we're going nuts. What are your staple quick family meals/?????? Thanks! love your blog - Macionis family (south eastern Iowa)
Hi! Some of our favorite relatively easy REGULAR family dinners are simple easy pastas (such as pesto, sundried tomato & chicken, shrimp scampi, white bean& spinach) and a salad; quesadillas, rice and black beans; blackened fish (pan sauteed), mashed potatoes and green beans; grilled shish-ka-bobs, couscous, salad; soup, salad, cheese and bread; grilled sausage and/or hot dogs & baked beans; homemade pizza (crust made with pizza dough bought from local pizza shop -- most people don't realize this, but you can usually go in and ask to buy a 'dough ball' and they'll give you one for a dollar or two); vegetarian chili. Then of course there are all the times we 'cheat' --- rotisserie chicken from the grocery store deli; Chinese food; Indian food; Greek food; Japanese food/sushi; Mexican food; (as you can tell we're big into ethnic food at our house). Then, of course, we have: going out to eat. We probably go out to eat about once a week or so. Honestly, I feel like I'm going nuts right with you... you're not alone!!! As I've said many times on this blog, this is really my big, huge stressor right now. If you (or anyone else reading this) has any other ideas for quick easy family dinners please please please share them here in the comments section!!! Please!!!

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Mayhem said... I am about a quarter of the way through your book, Heather, and I'm kind of collecting questions as I read. Some of my questions are being answered by the book itself, but would it be okay if I talked/emailed you sometime about the rest? I'm absolutely wondering more about how you make school/education choices for the boys.

Hi Amanda!!! Definitely we can talk/email about my book anytime!!! Very soon (like this week) you’ll be reading about a big school/education decision we’ve recently made for the boys. So, I’m going to cut this answer short and let you wait for that. Definitely email me at some point so we can connect in more depth about this stuff. I am also very curious about how you are dealing with the school decisions in your family. The whole white-parents-of-black-BOYS throws a big wrench into it. In my book *that* isn't discussed (because it is so rare)... Anyway, yes, let's TALK!!! :) FYI: Amanda-- I recently found out that Melanie Downard lives near you???????!!!!!! OMG!!!! Email me!

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trish said... I know it is way past midnight on Tuesday there but I'm going by my clock on the other side of the continent! My girls have been asking a lot of questions lately about the many homeless people we see when we are out and about. What kind of conversations, actions, do you have or plan to have with K & O regarding this subject? I feel fortunate to hear your input - both the professional and the mom.

Hi Trish! I think because your girls are a year older you’re probably dealing with this now in a way that we are not yet. I'm really fascinated by what Summer and Aubrey have said, so I'd love to hear about this more in depth. K & O have not started asking questions about homelessness/poverty at all yet. So far they seem 100% oblivious (and believe me, as you can imagine, I'm watching closely for any signs of their observation!!!). So… we have not had conversations or actions yet about this in any real way. Let’s chat via email about this, though, ok. Definitely email me anytime and we can connect about this because it is a very interesting subject that I enjoy discussing (and something I’ve actually done some research on too). One thing I can tell you, for certain, is that in my own research I find that by age five kids are already thinking a LOT about social inequality, poverty, homelessness, etc. Also, I've gotta tell you something-- this is so CRAZY that you asked this question because it is yet another example of how you and I are somehow crazily connected through some weird spiritual connectedness cosmos... this (what you've asked about) is, basically, the subject of my next book! How BIZARRE is that? I swear, we're connected in some weird surreal way. I know I've said it before, but gosh, I wish we lived near each other. I think you'd be my BFF. We better plan some sort of a visit with each other because I refuse to wait until the engagement parties to meet you and Alex face to face. xoxoxo future mother-in-law to your daughters, heather P.S. the latest 'train' photos on your blog are beautiful, of course.