Thursday, November 12, 2009

Blogging: Three Years On

When we started this blog, in October of 2006, K & O were tiny two-year olds and Meera was not even on the radar; I did not have tenure and Braydon was still working at his big-time corporate job; we were beginning our blogging without having any idea what would come of it. We've posted a lot of blog posts since then. What a long strange trip this blog thing has been. In the beginning I could never have anticipated that hundreds of people would come to find our little on-going story interesting enough to read it everyday. More than anything, over the past three years I've been humbled at the concept that people want to read "us." Sometimes we get comments or emails that just stun me in their sweetness and graciousness. And I've been so gratified in knowing that our little blogging habit has turned out to be of value to some people out there in the blogosphere. But the blogosphere has also stunned us in its cruelty too. Cruelty of any kind never ceases to perplex me. Over the course of the past three years of blogging, people have said (well, written) some terrible, nasty, hateful, hurtful things to us in comments and emails. We've tried not to let it get us down. There are, after all, about 100 "nice" comments for every "not nice" one. But still, if truth be told, the words and sentiments and general-spirit-of-hurtfulness succeed in what they set out to do: they hurt us. And sometimes the blog has been used against us in ways we never could have anticipated, even by people 'close' to us in real life. And as time goes on we continue to question the issues of privacy and vulnerability and transparency that our blog raises for us and our kids. But, despite our questioning of it, and despite many deep conversations pondering the stopping of it, we keep on doing it. We keep on blogging it. Why? Well, mostly, to be honest, at this point, for ourselves and our kids. We have come to see this blog as -- among many other things -- a way to preserve these moments in our life. It is a record of where we've been along this journey. And we feel compelled to make that record. Having it out there for others to see is a blessing and a curse. A curse in the sense that we have to deal with all the nuanced ramifications of our blog's public face. A blessing because it keeps us honest, it keeps us going (if nobody was counting on reading it there would surely be many a night/week/month that we'd just not do it), and it keeps us reminded of some of the important things in which we believe in this world. I'm so glad that other adoptive families (or those considering adoption), who so often feel isolated, can find us here; I'm so glad that female PhD students, who are struggling to make their own way in the academic world, can find us here; I'm so glad that our friends and family can see pictures of our gorgeous growing kids here. Etcetera. For the time being, the positives still outweigh the negatives for us, so we keep at it. At least for now, we keep on blogging. With real gratitude, from us to you, thank you to all of you out there who read us.


grumpy chicken's mommy said...

& thank you for all of your posting! Happy Blogoversary!! Just wondering - how often do you "run into" people who know you in the blog world? From reading your blog I know that I live in the same area as you... often thinking "what would i say to Heather if i saw her out with the boys?" Don't worry - probably nothing! :):) - i'm shy!

Bonnie said...

I got to your blog via that "six degrees of separation" thing. And sometimes I wonder why I delight in these children whom I will never meet? I think it's because I have the "aunt" gene so strongly. So know that I laugh and get teary-eyed at their adventures and wish everyone so much joy. Joy that keeps the mean-spirited end of the scale earthbound, while the fun and laughter and family love soars up, up, up, on the other end.

Jonez said...

No, Thank you! It is a pleasure to have a glimpse of your world. Your family is blessed beyond riches.

Patricia said...

People use the blog against you? Ugh. Well, I love it b/c it keeps me up to date on your kids and some of the rest of your life when "real life" makes it difficult for us to connect. Whether you write the blog or not, I've got your back.