2nd Annual Pennsylvania-Area Haiti-Adoptive-Families Christmas Party!!!

Yesterday was a huge day. We went to Winter Fair at the boys' school -- which was just as magical and amazing as last year (I wrote about it last year in this post). We left early to hurry home to host, what is, for Kyle and Owen, truly, The Event of the Season. Our 2nd annual Pennsylvania-Area Haiti-Adoptive-Families Christmas Party. As I've been uploading the photos, I've been sitting here at my computer trying hard to think of how to write about it in a way that would do it justice. I was at a loss. Then I just went back and read my post from last year's "Haiti Christmas Party" (as K & O call it), and I can't think of any way to say it better than I did there. So, all I've gotta say is: DITTO to that post. This year we had 57 people, 37 of which were kids. There was a moment when we had a big group of them in the playroom all singing Jingle Bells. It was crazy, but it was also beautiful on so many levels. What an incredibly, incredibly good time was had. I feel like it is really Christmas now.

(O & K, unwinding from the party, watching Curious George after everyone left)

Meera's Lovin' the Walker Thingy

Someday...

Someday we'll all gather together, drinking eggnog and nibbling on gingerbread cookies, with Christmas music playing, bonding together as we happily perform the yearly ritual of putting up our beloved Christmas tree. We'll oooh and ahhh together over all of our sentimental ornaments. We'll reminisce about Christmases past and dream together about Christmases future. When the tree is up and the empty ornament boxes are back in the basement we'll sit quietly together in the glow of the lights, admiring our handiwork, and enjoying the moment. Until then...
Back to reality...
With two crazy four year olds and a six month old...
We consider it a major achievement that the tree is up.
We'll leave it at that.

Baby Clothes

I want to try to write this post without getting overly emotional or melodramatic about it. So, I'm going to try to keep it brief and simple. But the topic is far from brief. And far from simple. And this isn't easy. Meera is now wearing a lot of Kyle and Owen's old baby clothes. All their old baby clothes that I've stored away for the past four years. At six months old, Meera weighs at least five pounds more than either Kyle or Owen did at eight months. The clothes fit her differently than they fit them. They look entirely different on her than they did on them. When worn by Meera instead of the boys, the images that these clothes project and the body these clothes protect are completely, completely converse. But they are the same clothes. And seeing her in them brings so many emotions to the surface. So many memories come flooding back. Many of these items of clothing bring back specific moments in time and specific experiences that we had in our first weeks home with K & O. Some of those moments and experiences were joyous, some were heart-wrenching, some still sit in my core as life-altering for all involved. My memories are like snapshots of time, like little tid-bits of something precious that is in a million pieces in my mind. Bringing the boys home, trying to heal them as best we could, and creating our (then new) family life happened with those clothes on our boys. I snuggled and held them and tried to understand them for hours on end as they wore those clothes. So some of them I couldn't bear to have anyone else but my boys wear (the first outfits we dressed them in when we arrived to the hotel in Haiti; the outfits they wore on the flights home). Some I have given away to friends or the thrift store. But a whole dresser-full are now being worn by Meera. To see her in them is such stark contrast. The most striking is simply that she is so healthy (on every level), and they were so deeply not. My precious boys needed so much. Meera needs so little. I worried so about my bambinos. Meera Grace requires so little worry. Meera was born into an already-strong attachment relationship, she's got not a care in the world on her little mind, she's 100% on track for a healthy happy life, etc., etc., etc. See.... it is almost impossible for me to articulate. This is why I have been avoiding writing about subjects related to this kind of stuff--- because it is so hard to do. At the same time, I want to get it down, because I don't want to forget that I went through this. This time right now -- as Meera enters into the approximate age at which we adopted Kyle and Owen -- is just a fleeting moment in time. It will go as quickly as it has come. And I know these raw emotions will drift and dissolve. So, I want to remember this. I want to remember that I felt like crying a lot as I see, feel, smell Meera in these little outfits that are, still, to me, "the boys clothes." I want to remember that my heart was full and aching and heavy and light all at the same time. I want to remember all the innocence -- the innocence of chubby happy Meera who has everything on par with the innocence of two tiny Haitian orphans who had nothing. I want to remember the pain and sorrow and grieving and the purest joy I've ever known. Some people might say, 'oh, get over yourself! they're just clothes!' But to me, they are so much more. And right now, it all means something.

Trio

Big Happenings

Meera is loving standing! She is completely unmotivated to sit and/or crawl, but extremely interested in standing up and wants to do it all day long. She's also suddenly (like in the past 3-4 days) very communicative about her wants/needs. (Not always a pretty sight/sound). She's a girl who (at least for now) knows how to get her way. Her brothers, especially, tend to be willing to do whatever it takes to satisfy her every whim at any moment (at least for now). This evening at dinner, for example, Ky Ky chugged a full cup of milk faster than imaginable in order to quickly give his cup to Meera because she was screeching and screaming for it at the top of her lungs. In other news, K & O had a big, big day today. They each had their very first individual play date. After school Kyle went to Sarah's house, and Owen went to Jason's house. This is big. Anyone with twins will get it. Not sure if others will get the significance of this. Anyway, take it from me--- it is big. Big, big happenings. Like I said in my last post, life is moving way too fast right now.

Very Merry!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

TGIM

The big, big news around here is that K & O got their hair cut!!! (Locs trimmed) This is a very big deal to us, and this is the boys' second haircut ever in their lives (I posted about their first haircuts here). I cut it (for now I'd never let anyone else touch it!!!!!!!!), and although it was a major endeavor for the whole family (washing two heads of hair, re-twisting two heads of locs, and trimming times two), it turned out looking great if I do say so myself. Tonight, getting ready for bed, looking at himself in the bathroom mirror, Kyle said, "My hair looks awesome!" And yes indeedy! It sure does!

Life is moving way too fast right now and it feels hard to keep up with -- let alone keep the blog up to speed. But in other big news, we've finally given in and implemented a sticker-chart-type-deal... something we've resisted doing up until now. After four and a half years of watching pretty much everyone we know do these sorts of reward-based systems with their young kids, we finally caved in, and are now reaping the benefits. We started Tuesday. We call them "Earning Charts." For this week the deal was that if they did a good job (Kyle at school and Owen at bedtime--- their current individual problem spots), then they'd earn a trip to the movie theater to see Madagascar. A sticker for each day of doing a good job-- stickers on all four days -- Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday = earning a trip to the movie theater "with popcorn and candy!!!" They did it and were so darn proud. And we were so darn relieved. Today was the big day. Braydon and the boys got to see the movie. I got to hang out with Little Miss (who we did not want to expose to a major motion picture yet). Here are K & O, so proud, with their end-of-the-week, all-stickered-up, Earning Charts:

'Tis the season. That's for sure. One thing about living with two four year olds during the month of December is that not an hour goes by that you're not reminded that Christmas is coming. Kyle, in particular, is soooo into it. The Saturday after Thanksgiving he went down to the basement and found the box with the "Blow Up" in it (click here for last year's post about this), and managed (by enlisting the help of his brother-- the box is heavy) to get it upstairs, insisting that we put it up in the front lawn ASAP. Braydon and I call this "Kyle's Blow Up" because, for real, it is all Kyle. Kyle looks at his blow-up a hundred times a day, at least. And carries his little Christmas snow globe with him everywhere he goes. And sings Jingle Bells in the shower (I found him doing that yesterday morning). And is obsessively asking questions about angels and the baby Jesus and "navivity scenes." And and and. He seems to consider it his mission in life to keep us anticipating the next big thing (and during the month of December the next big thing is really big). We've had two little dustings of snow since the blow up went up. 'Tis the season.

We had a jam-packed weekend. Saturday morning was the absolutely beautiful Spiral of Light at the boys' school. (I mentioned it last year in this post). Have I mentioned that we love our Waldorf school? We love our Waldorf school. As I sat there, watching my boys with their little candles walk the spiral so calmly and peacefully and reflectively, I kept thinking to myself "no amount of money is too much for them to be able to have this." Moments like that are so sweet for me as a mom, because I spend so many more moments thinking "oh my God, how are we going to navigate formal education for our children???????????????????" I can't help it. I'm a sociologist. Anyway, Saturday afternoon was Zoe's birthday party... which Kyle and Owen had long been anticipating because... it was... an ICE SKATING party!!! Here they are, their first time ever on ice skates. They loved it. (An understatement.)

Again, Braydon went skating with them while I hung out with Little Miss. At one point, while Braydon was going to get their coats from the car, the boys disappeared and I had to go find them. Here's what I found (see photo below): ~~~~It was such a riot! Without them realizing it I watched them sit there like that, perfectly still, completely in their own little world, for the longest time. They were absolutely enthralled with watching the zamboni cleaning up the ice rink!!!!!

As for Meera... this weekend she did something that really scares me. She refused to sleep for her morning nap on Saturday and Sunday. I tried everything, but she would not nap. She'd scream and kick her legs every time I laid her down. She has never before skipped a morning nap. Never. And here's the scary part--- I am almost 100% certain that she refused to go down out of her own fear of missing out on all the fun with K & O in the house. This morning, (Monday), as soon as the boys had left for school, she fussed her typical 'pleeeease put me in my crib - I'm ready for my morning nap' fuss. And sure enough, she went down for it. She loves just simply being in their presence so much that she refuses her most favorite activity in the world-- sleeping???!? Scary, scary, scary stuff. Anyway, so as to not tip the balance (with all the photos of the boys above)... here's the Weekend Sleepless Wonder with her third favorite guy (after K and O)... Cooper.

And here she is, when she should be sleeping, but is, instead, hanging out. Literally:

One last little tid-bit I want to mention from the weekend. Early Saturday morning Owen somehow managed to get a paper clip jammed between his teeth. ??? At first it seemed relatively non-serious. Until we realized that we really could not get it out. Really. And then Braydon started slightly freaking out. Which makes me seriously freak out because he almost never freaks out. Visions of bringing Owen to the E.R. for this ridiculous situation were swirling in my mind as I tried hard not to panic. But we did eventually manage to carefully straighten out the paper clip and slowly glide it out without too much pain or trauma (although there was plenty of drama). Anyway, at the end of the day, I can pretty much guarantee he won't do that again.

TGIM! (Thank God Its Monday!)

Driving Around Here

Powder Happens

I try to make the boys have a "Rest Hour" every day. Shortly after they gave up napping (the summer they had just turned three), I instituted Rest Hour to take the place of their afternoon naps. Rest Hour doesn't always last a whole hour, but the idea is they are supposed to be alone in their own rooms "playing quietly by themselves." It is supposed to be some much needed down time to re-charge with some peace and quiet (obviously "Rest Hour" is just as much for me as it is for them). Lately, though, the boys have been strongly resisting Rest Hour. They put up a huge fight every day when I tell them it is time for it. And they beg me incessantly to "be together" and not be separated for Rest Hour. This struggle against Rest Hour really began in full force earlier this fall when they started being in separate classrooms in school. Because of the separate classrooms, they have been spending way more time apart than they ever have in their entire lives, so I've sort of taken pity on them a bit and relented a bit too often to their pleas to "be together" during Rest Hour. When I have let them be together during Rest Hour they have pretty much always played quietly in one or the other's room without getting into mischief... up until just the other day. From downstairs I first noticed too much quiet coming from the upstairs. And then I started to notice too much commotion. I immediately ran up there as fast as I could (by now I know the signs all too well, and I know when to run)... and as I entered Kyle's bedroom I found the two of them covered with powder. Kyle was the instigator (of course, he almost always is), and was not afraid to brag a bit about that fact. They thought it was the funniest thing they'd ever seen looking at each other's faces covered with powder. I quickly grabbed the camera. And then they got a talking to.

December Rainbow

This morning Kyle woke up first (he almost always does), snuggled in bed with Braydon and I (our usual routine), and then started to get restless (of course). He got out of bed and found our binoculars sitting on my dresser (still not put away from our trip to Florida). He stood for a while, peering through the binoculars, looking out our bathroom window. I asked him what he saw. He said, "I see our shed. I see our sandbox. I see the grass." Etc. Then, suddenly, he said, "I see a rainbow!!!" I thought to myself, 'yeah, right' (lately at least half of what Kyle says is not based in reality, and just a few days ago he had told me a long and involved imaginative story about a rainbow). Braydon was standing by him, brushing his teeth. He looked out the window and exclaimed, "It is a rainbow!" I jumped out of bed and sure enough, there it was. Kyle and I ran to wake up Owen, "A rainbow! A rainbow! A rainbow!" The four of us ran downstairs and out to our back deck. And there it was, just sitting there, seemingly hanging right over our back yard. A huge, bright, full-color, full-half-circle rainbow just sitting there on our horizon stretching from end to end. It was cold out, it was 7:00am, and it was incredibly special. A December rainbow. We watched it until it disappeared.

Sure Pure Love