Blogging: Three Years On

When we started this blog, in October of 2006, K & O were tiny two-year olds and Meera was not even on the radar; I did not have tenure and Braydon was still working at his big-time corporate job; we were beginning our blogging without having any idea what would come of it. We've posted a lot of blog posts since then. What a long strange trip this blog thing has been. In the beginning I could never have anticipated that hundreds of people would come to find our little on-going story interesting enough to read it everyday. More than anything, over the past three years I've been humbled at the concept that people want to read "us." Sometimes we get comments or emails that just stun me in their sweetness and graciousness. And I've been so gratified in knowing that our little blogging habit has turned out to be of value to some people out there in the blogosphere. But the blogosphere has also stunned us in its cruelty too. Cruelty of any kind never ceases to perplex me. Over the course of the past three years of blogging, people have said (well, written) some terrible, nasty, hateful, hurtful things to us in comments and emails. We've tried not to let it get us down. There are, after all, about 100 "nice" comments for every "not nice" one. But still, if truth be told, the words and sentiments and general-spirit-of-hurtfulness succeed in what they set out to do: they hurt us. And sometimes the blog has been used against us in ways we never could have anticipated, even by people 'close' to us in real life. And as time goes on we continue to question the issues of privacy and vulnerability and transparency that our blog raises for us and our kids. But, despite our questioning of it, and despite many deep conversations pondering the stopping of it, we keep on doing it. We keep on blogging it. Why? Well, mostly, to be honest, at this point, for ourselves and our kids. We have come to see this blog as -- among many other things -- a way to preserve these moments in our life. It is a record of where we've been along this journey. And we feel compelled to make that record. Having it out there for others to see is a blessing and a curse. A curse in the sense that we have to deal with all the nuanced ramifications of our blog's public face. A blessing because it keeps us honest, it keeps us going (if nobody was counting on reading it there would surely be many a night/week/month that we'd just not do it), and it keeps us reminded of some of the important things in which we believe in this world. I'm so glad that other adoptive families (or those considering adoption), who so often feel isolated, can find us here; I'm so glad that female PhD students, who are struggling to make their own way in the academic world, can find us here; I'm so glad that our friends and family can see pictures of our gorgeous growing kids here. Etcetera. For the time being, the positives still outweigh the negatives for us, so we keep at it. At least for now, we keep on blogging. With real gratitude, from us to you, thank you to all of you out there who read us.

5 Book-CD-Sets We Love

Skippyjon Jones Lost in Spice, by Judy Schachner, author & illustrator

Kyle and Owen have got to be two of the most wild-crazy-rambunctious-off-the-wall boys you'll ever meet. Seriously... they are a match for Skippyjon himself! We've had the original Skippyjon Jones book for awhile now, and K & O love it (so does Margie, because she loves the bi-lingual nature of the text and the fun plays-on-words). But just last week, from the "Candy Witch," K & O received Skippyjon Jones Lost in Spice. The CD that was included quickly became one of their most beloved possessions. Tonight, before bed, less than one week after this book hit our house, Kyle and Owen -- in unison -- "read" me (i.e., they aren't actually reading it, they have it memorized) the ENTIRE BOOK. All 30 pages, every word of every page! I was literally in utter shock to witness this! If you know this book, you know how unbelievable this is. This book is definitely their #1 fav right now.

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What I Be, by Michael Franti, illustrations by Ben Hodson

All five of us love Michael Franti, and all five of us love this book-CD-set!

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The Composer Is Dead, Written by Lemony Snicket,

Music by Nathaniel Stookey, Illustrations by Carson Ellis

Never forget: Kyle, Owen, and Meera's Papi has a doctorate in music composition. This book is a little over the bambinos' heads right now, but looking at the book and listening to the CD with Papi makes it totally lovable. Any classical music lover (and children thereof!) will deeply appreciate this book. If you read it you'll understand why.

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Hip Hop Speaks to Children: A Celebration of Poetry with a Beat, edited by Nikki Giovanni

What can I say? This is just awesome. I wish every household could have a copy.

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Sergei Prokofiev's Peter and the Wolf, Illustrated by Peter Malone

A classic. This version has incredible illustrations. I remember Braydon and I talking, long before we ever had children of our own, about wanting to make sure our kids would know well this "musical fairy tale in which each character is played by a different instrument of the orchestra"... and now they do! K & O have been listening to this/reading this for years already. And now Meera is just as mesmerized by it as her brothers are.

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Note, for the record: I have absolutely no affiliation whatsoever with any of the producers of any of these books. Nobody is giving me anything to write this.

Kyle & Meera Play the Piano

These two have a really sweet, quiet way about them together. It is precious and loving and the epitome of a sort of best-case-"big brother and little sister"-scenario. Kyle is extraordinarily protective of Meera and is always incredibly concerned about her well-being. He looks out for her to the 9th degree. And Meera, well, Meera just absolutely adores Kyle beyond beyond. She and he give quiet kisses to each other multiple times each day-- not for show or because they think we'll think it is "cute," but rather, it seems, just because. It is a blessing for us to watch them together in their sweet, quiet way.

Concentration: 17-Month-Old Version

When Kyle and Owen were Meera's age they loved this "game" that I invented for them: pushing wooden popsicle sticks through the slight slit of an old Clorox Wipes container. I can remember spending what seemed like hours upon hours sitting on the floor with K & O, watching them -- with full concentration -- working hard to carefully push popsicle stick after popsicle stick into that plastic container. A couple of weekends ago, while digging for "new toys" for Meera in the big bin of hand-me-downs in the basement, I found that old baby game. I had forgotten all about it, but I knew immediately that Meera would love it. She sat on my lap while Owen taught her how to do it. Since then I have spent hours upon hours sitting on the floor with Meera, watching her -- with full concentration -- working hard to carefully push popsicle stick after popsicle stick into that plastic container.

Meera Today

Today

Today we went with the Petsch family to an annual Apple Festival. Despite the crazy-huge crowds of people, we had a great time. Lori posted about it here. All five of us J-M's really, really love the Petsch's!

Lehigh vs. Holy Cross

Today was the most perfect football day. We have loved football games at Lehigh this fall and this was probably our last one of the season. Kyle is totally into it. He is right in the middle of the ruckus of kids who all "play football" (i.e., tackle each other while chasing a ball) on the grass where we sit on the side of the field. Whenever a field goal is kicked Kyle is right in the middle of the mega-tackle pile-up to try to catch it from the sideline. While we're at these games Kyle is a football player (he is not a bystander). He brings his football to the game and has no problem making instant friends with any kid who will "play football" with him. Owen and Meera, on the other hand, take after their parents. They are much more into the socializing (for the two of them this equates to flirting, big-time, with everyone who will flirt back) and partaking of football-stadium-food-and-drink (today Owen had, amongst other things, hot chocolate, which was an especially special treat!). While Owen chatted up a whole bunch of very cute college girls, and Kyle tackled a slew of ten-year-old boys, and Meera played cutesie peek-a-boo with a family sitting behind us, a football game was actually being played on the field. Lehigh lost, again, but it barely even mattered -- today was the most perfect football day.

First World Series

As most anyone can tell you, I have never been much of a sports guy; at least not organized sports. I rather wish I was, but this seems to be one of my failings of a man. Fortunately this does not seem to be much of a problem for Heather, but it's not so hot for K & O.  We have been blessed with two boys who not only are physically off the charts, but their "innate" sports interest is off the charts as well.   Particularly their interest in baseball.  Granted, their Mor Far has quite a bit to do with this....   which is in large part why our boys (and our entire family) are die-hard Red Sox fans.

We were all happy the Red Sox got a wild card into the post season, but very disappointed when they were eliminated to the Angels, who were then eliminated to the Yankees.  Wait - am I really restating this?  I am not the sports guy, Mor Far is.

Except that this season, I've had to get serious about professional sports to keep up with my two boys who pretty much have the entire line ups of the Sox and Yankees and Phillies memorized.  They definitely have their favorite players:  Sox:  Jacoby Elsbury, Phillies: Ryan Howard, Yankees, Derek Jeter.

And they pretty much know these players stats: Jacoby is the fastest runner and can steal second base without even thinking, that Ryan Howard is a huge home run hitter and Derek Jeter is an all around good player (especially when diving into the stands to catch a foul pop fly and hurting his face).

So this year, this year that K & O are 5, when they are coming into their own as sports fans and participants; independent of their father's influence, these boys not only became obsessed with the the Yankees vs. the Phililes in the World Series, but got to watch their first World Series Game on TV.

Games 1-5 started at 8 PM, so they missed those (except for a little bit on Halloween night).  But since school was cancelled for the day after game six (due to large numbers of people being out with the flu), and it started at 7:30, we said "aw shucks" they can watch the Phillies claw their way back from a 1 game deficit. All three boys began watching pre-game stuff at 6:30 (which morphed into a kids video until 7:30, but who is counting?)

Now, you would think that with our family being Die Hard RED SOX fans, that if the Yankees are in the world series, that we would be rooting for ANYONE but the Yankees.  But you'd be wrong. Uh oh.

In June we went and say the Phillies and Yankess in Interleague play for the boy's first MLB game.  And the Phillies beat the Sox.  Between that and that Calvin loves the Yankees and Margie loves the Phillies...

These boys rooted for the Yankees for the 2009 championship.  Sacrilege.   Chants of "Let's go Yankees" echoed (and I mean echoed) through the house to the extent that Meera's "Let's go Red Sox" started to sound like Yankees too.  Oh man, Blasphemy (of a certain kind).

But somehow, at the same time, really, really wonderful.

So we watched Game 6 (with me hoping it would go to game 7, but alas). These little 5 year olds, who are normally in bed by 6:30 and out cold by 7, stayed up to almost 10 PM watching the game and probably fell asleep closer to 11.  We made it to the end of the third inning, when I finally pulled the plug (and Heather came back from a diversity meeting at the boy's school - whole 'nother topic). We saw Johnny Damon steal second and third in the same play - amazing. Our hearts jumped into our throats, we cheered lived it up. Then headed up to bed.

IT WAS AWESOME.  We had a great time watching a great ball game, and my boys have been initiated into the world of professional championship sports.  And I guess so have I - in a whole new way.

Mor Far called in the morning to give the boys they news that the Yankees had won. K & O did a little celebration dance, but kept the whoops in check for Mor Far's sake until they hung up with him. Gotta be respectful. We watched the highlights on mlb.com and re-lived it a bit.

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Now we're on to football in a big, big way.  More than before. We're wondering who will be in the "World Series for football."  ;)

Just a bit more education to do - we're starting with the team names... Go Pats!

In Other News...

...Meera is no longer trustworthy with the boys' magic markers that have been stored in the bins of their easel for years now. The markers are now stored far, far out of her reach.

The Candy Witch

So, we've been heavily entrenched in our Waldorf School for 2.5 years now. So much of it was just a totally natural fit with how we were parenting and living. And so much of it still feels as totally bizarre and foreign to us today as it did in the beginning. But for K & O, who have been "Waldorf" since age 3, it is all totally normal. For the most part, we go with it (and deeply appreciate it). However, every once in a while something comes up that really makes Braydon and I look at each other, tilt our heads to the side, and say, with raised eyebrows, "Um, what?!!!" The Candy Witch was one of those things. We heard all about it -- from letters sent home each year around Halloween, from fellow parents, from the boys' teachers (who strongly encourage it) -- but the "Candy Witch" was just one of those things that we never really bought into. Didn't buy into at all. The idea of adding yet another mystical Santa-EasterBunny-ToothFairy-esque phantom-in-the-night-who-leaves-gifties seemed way over-the-top. And the whole concept--- that after trick-or-treating you leave out your candy for the Candy Witch, who comes in the night while you're sleeping, takes away all the candy, and leaves you a little gift instead --- well, honestly, to us, it seemed darn-right cruel. Yes, she's a "good witch," a "happy witch," etc.... but still... to expect that our 5 year old's would give away all their trick-or-treat candy? Well, it just seemed crazy. Remembering back to our own childhoods, and all those Halloween goodies that we had collected, we couldn't bear the thought of telling our own kids that they'd have to part with their trick-or-treaties. So, over the past three years of Waldorf autumns we just basically, conscientiously, sort of blew off the whole Candy Witch concept. This year, though, we were in for a surprise. Right before our very eyes, our boys made the Candy Witch come alive. Monday, the first day back to school after Halloween, Kyle came home ecstatic with excitement over -- none other than -- the Candy Witch herself. He announced enthusiastically that the Candy Witch was coming that night. He wanted to leave her all of his candy. And he KNEW what she was going to leave in its place. "A new toothbrush! And a toy!" And this, it seemed to him, was a great deal. Kyle, who truly could not care any less about candy of any kind, was absolutely thrilled with the notion that he could trade it in for something better. Owen actually likes candy (well, at least, he likes chocolate -- and he likes it a lot), but no matter, he jumped right on board Kyle's Candy Witch train with no hesitation. I was kind of shocked. In retrospect, I shouldn't have been. I know my boys well enough to know that a new toothbrush is more exciting to them than a plastic pumpkin full of and sugary-candy-they-don't-actually-like and cheap chocolate (Lindt or Godiva or something good is a whole other story, but they have yet to ever receive any of that while trick-or-treating). I'm sure all it took was for Kyle to hear of one or two kids at school who had been visited by the Candy Witch to make him a True Believer. If there is one thing I know about K & O it is that they are Believers. It does not take much to spark their imaginations and believe in the magical-mystical. But on Monday evening, faced with their excitement over the Candy Witch coming, the biggest challenge before me was logistics. I simply was not prepared for the visit of this new phantom-in-the-night-who-leaves-gifties. I convinced them that they should hold off on giving away their treats and enjoy eating them for another day. "Tuesday," I said, "don't you think you'd rather leave your candy for her to come on Tuesday!!?" They seemed alright with that. They ate a couple pieces of candy after dinner Monday night (that might be a stretch... maybe they ate a couple of pieces combined... seriously, they are weird, weird little kids -- really just not fans of the candy). By Tuesday night they were chomping at the bit and were even more gung-ho than ever about the Candy Witch. And --importantly-- by Tuesday night I was prepared for her. Kyle basically orchestrated the whole thing and the rest of us followed along. They saved a few pieces of their favorites from their plastic pumpkins (although, 4 days later they still haven't touched them), dumped all the rest (including Meera's) into a basket, dictated a note to me, and put it outside on the front porch for the Candy Witch to take. The next morning, sure enough!, she had come! They were thrilled beyond thrilled with what the witch left: new toothbrushes and toothpaste for all three, three new books, and a couple of toy golf carts. Amidst all the excitement on Wednesday morning I said something like, "You know, I never even knew about the Candy Witch! When I was a little girl I didn't even know she existed!" Kyle said, "Well she does exist! And I have even seen her!" "Yes!" shouted Owen, "I have seen her too!" "Oh?" I said, "I didn't even know about her, and I definitely haven't ever seen her!" "Me neither!" said Braydon. To which Kyle replied, very excitedly and matter-of-factly, "That's because you're not black! Only black people can see her! And she is black too!" Which Owen then promptly backed up, with much enthusiasm, "Right! We can see her and you can't! Because we're black! And she's black! Only black people can see her!" Wow. Later, when I asked them if the Candy Witch was just coming this year, or if she would be coming every year, they confidently told me that she is "DEFINITELY coming every year!!!" And thus begins a new (at least for us), most magical Waldorf-y, Halloween tradition: The Candy Witch.

Photo(s) of the Day

Post Halloween Haze

Until they are totally rotten and grossing us all out, we'll light our jack-o-lanterns on the back porch every night. This is our tradition and we're sticking to it. ;0 Yesterday we had one of the (actually, we think it was the) most relaxing, laid-back days ever as a family. While Meera took a four-hour-nap (?!!!) the rest of us laid around in our pj's, "chillaxing" (as K & O call it), watching Curious George videos and reading books. We took a walk in the afternoon and then the bambinos all had a good long soak in the tub. Interestingly, none of the people under age 35 in our household showed any interest whatsoever in their Halloween loot from the night before. Whatsupwiththat????? Their plastic pumpkins full of candy sat there, on the kitchen counter, all day... and none of them cared to even review what they had collected. Weird little kids.

Locs

Recently a few people have left comments asking for info re: K & O's locs. From time to time I re-post the link to this post that I wrote two years ago (CLICK HERE) for folks interested in our "hair story"... Speaking of "Hair Story"... If you haven't read it yet, and you're interested in Black hair, this book is a great: Hair Story: Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America, by Ayana D. Byrd and Lori L. Tharps.

Halloween 2009: Two Butterflies and a Flower

{as always, click on any photo to enlarge}

More from Halloween 2009 below (click here)~~

Jack-o-lanterns & Trick-or-treating

Halloween Weekend

MorMor and MorFar visited for Halloween Weekend.

As usual, a great time was had by all.
Great food, lots-o-sports for the boys (tackle football = current sport of choice), and many great memories to bond us forever.
These times are always so special, and so appreciated.