One week to go!

It's the final countdown - one week to go until Baby Sister is due! Doesn't Heather look AWESOME?!?!? I can't believe how amazing my wife is. I know men often say this, but wow - I am really in awe of her. Not only has she taken incredible care of herself and our baby, but she puts on a happy, energetic face for the boys everyday, she creates wonderful birthday parties, she maintains her enormous career, keeps our social life intact, plans and cooks for all of us. She is an amazing wife, she powers through pain, discomfort, sleeplessness (and there is not a whole lot of sleeping going on around here at the moment) and she looks beautiful. (and truthfully, I am quite sure I don't know everything she does.)

Incredible.

HAPPY 4th BIRTHDAY TO KYLE & OWEN!

May 8, 2008: They were up at 5:50 a.m., beyond excited about finding their end-of-the-bed-presents -- the sure sign that today is their "actual birthday", the sure sign that they are "really 4!!!" They wanted to open their presents together so they brought Kyle's into Owen's room. What was inside??? Yes! Skateboards and rollerskates -- exactly what they had been hoping for! Could two 4 year old boys be any happier??? Happy Birthday K & O!

Reflections on K & O's Birthday

I cannot get over it that they are turning 4!?! These pictures are from May 8, 2005 -- their first birthday.

On their first birthday the boys had been home just over three months. In those short three months they had gained many pounds, gotten many teeth, and grown many inches. They had become healthy and were well on their way to a full physical recovery. They were also making huge strides developmentally, emotionally, and psychologically. They still weren't ready for a houseful of people and/or any kind of 'real' birthday party... they were just barely starting to come out of their shells and blossom. But we knew in our hearts that they were going to thrive. The signs were all there already. We felt so lucky that their first birthday was their first birthday home. We were so grateful to have been able to bring them home so young. We also felt lots of deep emotions about that day they turned one. I cried often -- deep mournful crying -- around that time. I mourned for what they hadn't had on the day of their birth. I mourned for what that day must have been like for them, as tiny newborn infants. I mourned for all that was lost, never to be able to be regained. And I mourned for their birthmother... the thoughts would flood my mind... what must it have been like to give birth on that day in Cite Soleil, Haiti? The blazing hot sun and the dirty dusty smokey filthy hazy painfulness of it all? They were born at a missionary clinic in Cite Soleil -- how did she get there? she had never had medical care, so what a surprise it must have been to birth twins? and what was it like then -- to know in her heart that they were not to be hers to raise? We can't assume anything about her emotions or thoughts; we know enough about the situation in Haiti to know not to assume. But I can't help but wonder. And I wonder most about my babies... what happens when that happens to an infant? A precious newborn soul. I give thanks they were twins, they had each other. But to start your life that way --- to have your birth day be that day. What does it all mean? That year they turned one I agonized over all this. And I was so deeply grateful, too, that they had been born. That they had survived. That they were mine. By the time their actual birthday came I was emotionally drained from churning and churning over these sorts of things (and what I've written here is just the very tip of the iceberg). But I was also in the midst of an intense phase with Kyle and Owen. As their mother my goal was to 'go back' and 're-do' as much of their infancy as I possibly could with them. Knowing that I could never truly go back, nor truly re-do, I was driven to do the best I could nonetheless. I insisted that they be held as much as humanly possible and that the house be as soothing as we could possibly make it. We'd rock them for hours, we'd hold their hands down so that we could bottle feed them (in the orphanage they had been taught to feed themselves and had been doing so since around age 4 months... so they'd fight us in the beginning not wanting to rely on us for feedings), we'd coo to them like they were newborns, we'd force them to have eye-contact despite their many attempts to not, we'd run to them at every tiny whimper 24x7, we'd protect them as if they were just hours old. We felt fortunate -- around May 8, 2005 we knew in our hearts that it was working. Our boys had sparkles in their eyes. They were engaged in the world. They were enjoying life. They were alive. Their first birthday was on a Sunday. We had them baptized that day. The ceremony was special and beautiful for us. It was also Mother's Day. I felt that it was a profound thing: to have their first birthday, their baptisms, and my first Mother's Day all on the exact same day. It felt charmed somehow. It felt like the weights were being lifted, that we were coming into the light. It felt like an incredible miracle -- a fresh new start in life for two precious and beautiful and fragile souls. Like many adoptive mom's, I continue to have mixed emotions around Kyle and Owen's birthday. It brings to the surface many thoughts and feelings that seem to forever be somewhat raw. I don't fight it because I think it is good for those things to always remain a little bit at the surface and a little bit raw. It doesn't dominate me, but it is part of me. It is part of being mother to Kyle and Owen. It just means that we are real. The history is real. The present is real. And the future -- whatever it may hold -- is real. Three years ago, when they turned one, I could not have imagined the boys that they would be today. I feel blessed beyond belief for what they were and what they have become. And I anticipate with open arms what the future has in store.

Birthday Traditions

This is the second year in a row that Zoe has sent K & O a special 'virtual' b-day message-- click here for last year's. I love little rituals and traditions like this. K & O are very much anticipating May 8 - tomorrow - one more sleep - their "actual birthday." The only really big tradition we have for their actual birthday is the 'end of the bed presents' (when they wake up in the morning they'll find special presents from Mommy & Papi waiting at the end of their beds). This is a tradition from my family too -- I have always had an 'end of the bed present' waiting for me when I wake up on my birthday, for as long as I can remember. K & O are hoping that it is "a skateboard and rollerskates"... this is all they've asked for and they've been asking for it for their birthday for many months now. We shall see if that is waiting at the end of the bed tomorrow morning!!! ;)

Quotes of the Day: "When I am a grown up man..."

This morning, as usual, the boys were cuddling in bed with us just after they woke up. Totally out of the blue Kyle says to me, "Mommy, when I am a grown up man you will sleep with me in my bed -- just like you sleep with Papi!" Then Owen chimed in, "And when I am a grown up man Papi will sleep with me in my bed!" Braydon and I were trying not to laugh. I said, "Well maybe you guys will want to find your own people to sleep with when you are grown up men?! I think you'll want to find your own woman or your own man to sleep in your beds with you!!" Kyle says, "No, mommy, not another woman, just you -- when I am a grown up man you will sleep in my bed!" And Owen says, "Yup, that's right -- when I am a grown up man Papi will sleep in my bed! Not another man, just Papi!"

4th Birthday Party: Was It Just a Smashing Success or Was It HEAVEN???

It was everything the boys wanted. Their wildest 4th-Birthday-Party-Dreams-Come-True. It feels so amazingly good to me to be able to give them that once a year. How amazing is it, as a mother, to be able to make their wildest dreams actually realized??? So amazing. This is a short little period in life. Soon all hopes of me making all their dreams come true will be long gone. So, I want to indulge them -- and myself -- while I can. I personally believe that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The truth is, if they were entitled-acting little buggers, or if they weren't so dang appreciative, I probably wouldn't do it... but when they say things like "Mommy, you think of everything!!!" (Kyle) and "Mommy, you made me the best birthday party ever ever ever!" (Owen) and "Thank you Mommy for the best birthday party in the whole wide world!!" (both, numerous times throughout the day)... well, it just makes me so glad to be able to do it, so gratified that at least for a tiny spell of their lives I can be that Mommy to them. I could go on and on about this topic, but I'm too exhausted. So, in lieu of a deep poetic post I'm going to let some of the stats do the talking -- here are the basics:

• 1 "bouncing thing" mega 'combo' moonbounce with 10 foot slide
• 2 "candle cakes" precisely as requested (all white frosting with 'KYLE' and 'OWEN' in blue and orange) with 1 "number four" candle and 4 "cake candles" per cake
• 6 large tubs of ice cream in assorted flavors
• 2 huge vats of rum punch for the parents -- made and served by the proudest grandfather of two Caribbean boys that ever lived
• 40 helium balloons blown up by the most amazing grandmother that ever lived
• 1 pinata with 100 lollipops inside
• 16 person ensemble from the Lehigh University Marching Band marching and performing in the backyard
• 1 impromptu pick-up baseball game, after the performance, with assorted party guests and marching band members
• 80 "squeezy drinks" (Honest Kids brand juice drinks)
• 80 snack size bags of "cheesy popcorn" (Smartfood)
• 3 minor injuries to young guests (cured quickly by -- in chronological order of injuries/cures: 1 bandaid, 1 ice pack, and 1 small bowl of gummy worms)
• 25 party favor bags filled with various musical instruments and sound-makers
• 60 "owie hats" (birthday party cone hats)
• 1 perfectly gorgeous Sunday afternoon
• 25 of K & O's best friends forever, each one of whom came with 1-4 family members to join in the fun (you can do the math re: total number of guests)
• 1 tired Mama, 11 days from Baby Sister's Due Date
• 1 proud Papi
• 2 deliriously happy turning-4-year-old-boys who got to experience their own version of Heaven-On-Earth for a sweet and blissful 3 hours
• infinite moments that can only be captured in the mind's eye

For another post about the party, click here. An old student of mine who is an exceptionally good photographer came and acted as documentary photographer again for us this year for the third year in a row! I'll post more photos when he gets them to me. :)

MayFaire

Saturday was MayFaire at Kyle and Owen's school. This is a big annual Waldorf event. It was a dreary day, unfortunately, but it was still quite an experience. Kyle and Owen adore their school. They are loving school. And they are absolutely thriving there. For Braydon and I, ultimately, that is the bottom line. MayFaire was a really special day for K & O. They were in their element. It made the day extra special because MorMor and MorFar were with us for the weekend, so K & O got to give them the 'full immersion Waldorf' experience. (!) The maypole (above) was one of the highlights... but mostly the boys just love... being there. The contentment they have when they are there is obvious. It was nice for Braydon and I to have my parents witness that. We don't know what the future holds for K & O's educational trajectory, but for now we're following K & O's lead -- and at the end of their first year at their Waldorf school, all signs tell us that they're right where they are supposed to be.

Who wroted that music down?

We like to expose K & O to a wide variety of music. I in particular like them to hear lots of "classical" music for a whole bunch of reasons. I tend to do this in the car - where I have a captive audience! :) Fortunately they are totally into it. Here is a list of some of their current favorite "classical" (only two of these are actually classical) music:

1. O Fortuna - Carl Orff
2. Short Ride on a Fast Machine - John Adams
3. Symphony #9, 2nd and 4th movements - Beethoven
4. Eine Kline Nacthmusick - Mozart
5. Alexander Nevsky - Prokofiev
6. Variations on "Simple Gifts" - Copland
7. Fanfare for the common man - Copland
8. Overture to Candide - Bernstein
9. Now lettest thou be thy servant - the Glinka Choir, Lenningrad

And if I can figure out how to get my MP3 player to work in the car better, there will be a lot more soon.

So we were in the car the other day listening to "The Germans fall through the ice" (I don't know what the real title is) from Alexander Nevsky and Owen says:

O: "Papi, I like that!!!"
P: "Oh good, I am glad to hear it!"
O: "Papi, who wroted that music down?"

I was stunned. I told him and tried to plumb the depths of his brain to figure out how he knew to ask that. I have been trying to say "this piece is by so and so" but I never put it into those terms. I mean - it's really nutty when you think about. To get there, here's what he had to do:

1. Realize that we were listening to a recording of a performance of music (which is not an object unto itself)
2. Realize that the music was performed by a group of people
3. Understand that the music doesn't just happen, that it is planned
4. Understand that someone had to plan it (or "compose" is as the case may be)
5. Realize that the planning of it comes before the performance, which comes before the recording
6. Realize that in order for the plan to be executed, it must be communicated, and that is most likely on paper (like reading books)
7. Realize that someone who (most likely planned it) had to write it down on paper to give to the people performing.

Now, I am no cognitive development expert, and I realize this is normal, but wow - it's so cool when you get to see this kind of thing happens!

O: "Papi, who wroted that music down?"

Today is B-Day Party Day!

"Oreos" & "Bananas"

Recently I've been thinking a lot about the whole 'black on the outside but white on the inside' slam that is often flung at certain black kids. Many of my black students at Lehigh talk about this extensively -- about how they are scrutinized, criticized, and mocked for "acting white" (i.e., for being exceptionally good students, dressing 'clean cut,' moving outside their neighborhoods of origin, etc., etc., etc.) Many of my Asian students at Lehigh talk about being called "bananas" (i.e., yellow on the outside but white on the inside) for dating white people, excelling in subjects other than math/science, playing physical-contact sports, etc., etc., etc. I've listened to them as they tell me their experiences with these slams -- and our conversations have been deep, dark, soul-searching conversations. I've handed them Kleenex as 300 pound gorgeous football-playing black guys have cried on the couch in my office. And I've hugged them as beautiful sparkling the-world-in-the-palm-of-their-hands Asian young women have fallen apart in front of me while recounting their stories. My conversations with these students on the topics of "oreos" and "bananas" have been gut-wrenching and heart-breaking... even long before I became the mother of Kyle and Owen. And now, these conversations have taken on a whole new depth for me as I worry about what the future holds for my precious boys. I cringe, even as I type 'o-r-e-o'. For as much as we try to devote ourselves to parenting them in a way that will help them to know and embrace their 'blackness,' I'm very aware that we will not be able to protect them from the slamming slashing 'oreo' junk that will surely be flung their way. Today I read a great post on a blog I like. It articulates so many of my own thoughts and questions, but so much better than I could have written myself. Read it by clicking here (blog is My American Melting Pot, post is dated April 30).

Happy May Day

I think May is our favorite month. Spring in full bloom; the boys' birthday; the school year ends; we always go on our big vacation (this year we're having a baby instead); the swimming pool opens; summer in PA begins. 5/1 is a good day for us. In celebration I'm posting 5 favorite recent photos / and 1 special clue re: Baby Sister's name* -- To all our friends in blogland: Happy May Day!

*Soon we're going to have our first ever contest on the Johnson-McCormick Family Blog! All the best bloggers do contests... and you know... we've got to keep up with the Jones's around here ;) Plus, more than a few people have asked us to do a contest re: Baby Sister's name... and we must keep the readership happy. So, look for the contest soon. But in the meantime look for the clue.

*Late edit to this post: We're not going to post any comments to this post because we don't want to give the clue away to anyone!!! ;) Good going Safiya, Sarah, etc!-- but keep your clues/comments re: Baby Sister's name to yourself until the contest begins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

2 Weeks

2 weeks 'till due date. At my OB appointment Tuesday I found out that I was 60% effaced. The best news is the new estimates of Baby Sister's size... about 6 pounds, maybe 7 tops (not the 8+ that they estimated a couple weeks ago). Of course these are just guesstimates, but still-- 6 pounds sounds more like it. My doctor said it will be "any day now"; ALL SYSTEMS ARE GO; but that it could also go all the way until May 15 too. We shall see. Keeping my fingers crossed that we can get through the boys' birthday first.

Anticipation

I'm surprising even myself with how low-key I am feeling as we enter the 2-week-countdown-'till-due-date. I have moments of frantic stress, but generally I'm experiencing this period in our lives with surprising calm. I'm much more even-keeled than I'd have expected to be at this point. I'm much more laid back and relaxed about all that is on the horizon than I ever would have imagined I'd be. Part of it is that I feel the need to be as rock-solid as possible for K & O. There is so much going on in their little minds as they sense the approach of Baby Sister's arrival. Their anticipation is so thick you could cut it with a knife. They have been wanting a baby sibling for as long as they can remember. They have talked about it openly and asked for it explicitly since the time they started talking-- literally. And now, it is upon them. And they know it. Great expectations. And yet an intense sense of the unknown. It is a lot for two big little boys.
*
For the past 2-3 weeks or so we've been watching their emotions manifest in many different ways. They are much more cuddly and need a lot more physical attention (hugs, snuggles, cuddles) than usual. They talk about Baby Sister constantly (it is clearly at the surface of their minds). They get frustrated more easily and lash out more quickly. And they act up more than they normally do. At the same time, they are cool as cucumbers. When gifts arrive for Baby Sister (which they regularly do), K & O take it in stride and have never once expressed (in any way) any sort of jealousy or envy. When people focus their attention on me/my pregnancy and how I'm feeling, etc. (which they regularly do), K & O just go with the flow and have never once demanded the focus to shift to them. When they see me putting their old books and toys in the baby's room they act 100% unphased. As we've been 'nesting' like crazy and re-arranging our entire house, K & O have never once batted an eye. And yet their anxiety pops up in fits and starts-- the anticipation is palpable.
*
A couple of weeks ago we visited friends who have baby 8-month-old twins. Kyle and Owen were not themselves during the visit. They were acting up a lot, not listening, and were very revved up. During the visit they were not allowed to do much with the babies (the babies' parents were -- as to be expected -- very protective, and there were a lot of limits placed on how K & O could interact with the babies). The visit did not go as K & O had hoped (they had hoped to be able to hold the babies, touch the babies, maybe even feed the babies, etc.). In the car afterward we had a big conversation de-briefing about the visit. In an unbelievably articulate way, both K & O (initiated by K) explained their feelings-- They told us that they were feeling "mad" and "angry" and "frustrated" because they wanted their "own baby to be born" and they were "upset" that "Baby Sister was not coming out yet." This totally threw Braydon and I for a loop. We were shocked, actually. We had been upset by their behavior during the visit. We had been thinking they were tired or bored or maybe even jealous of all the attention the babies were getting. But we really had not put 2 & 2 together to realize that for K & O it was all about Baby Sister (of course, in retrospect it is obvious, but at the time it was not obvious to us at all-- it had never even occurred to us actually). We four had a big long talk about all of this in the car. This was one of a few similar experiences during which K & O have expressly articulated their own sense of anticipation, excitement, and frustration over this whole waiting-for-baby process.
*
This afternoon I picked the boys up from school. They played on the playground with their friends for awhile and all was o.k. But upon arriving home they were at each other and fighting non-stop. Bickering. Grabbing. Shoving. Snide comments. Bad behavior. I had to send Owen to his room at one point for purposefully slamming the door in Kyle's face (and accidentally jamming Kyle's fingers in the door). While he was up in his room I said to Kyle (who was by no means solely an innocent victim in all that had been going down), "Kyle, why do you think Owen is acting up so much today?" And here is what happened next~~
~~~
Kyle: I think because he's frustrated.
Heather: Oh?
K: That's why he's acting up. Because he's so frustrated. He's frustrated because Baby Sister is not coming out. That's why he's acting up.
H: Oh. Frustrated.
K: He's getting frustrated it isn't coming before our birthday. It's taking too long for her to come.
H: Oh. Are you frustrated too?
K: Yes. Because I want her to come. Before our birthday, not after. I want her to come Friday. Not waiting and waiting and waiting for her to come. Not waiting and waiting and waiting for her to get borned.
H: Do you think that's why you are acting up so much today too Kyle? Is that why?
K: Yes, I think so. I think so. I'm getting so tired of waiting for her to get borned.
*
Nothing about Baby Sister had been mentioned all afternoon. I had been thinking they were just having an 'off' day, or that they were unsettled because Braydon has been working such long hours the past couple of days (they have hardly seen him since Monday). So Kyle's explanation caught me off guard. A couple of minutes later I went upstairs to get Owen. Alone with him in his room I asked him, "Owen, why are you acting up so much today?"
O: Because I'm frustrated.
H: Oh?
O: I already told you that. I'm frustrated.
H: Kyle said that he thinks you're frustrated because Baby Sister isn't born yet. Is that right?
O: Yes, that's what I already told you.
H: Oh.
O: I am feeling so frustrated that she's not getting born yet. I want my baby to come out. I want my baby to come out in zero sleeps. My baby needs to come out of that belly. Why it is taking so long? Why?
H: Because she's just not ready yet. It will be after your birthday. A few days after your birthday.
O: I want it before my birthday now. I want to have the birthday so we can get that baby borned out.
H: It will be soon.
O: Not soon enough.

Two Against One (AKA 'Always Easier to be Mad at Mommy Than at Each Other')

Braydon had to leave early this morning for a meeting, so I drove the boys to school. From the minute we got into the car they were at each other-- Owen grabbed Kyle's hat, K grabbed O's hat, O threw K's hat, K threw O's hat, O tugged on K's hood, K slapped O on the shoulder, O shoved K, etc.... lots of fussing and carrying on. About three minutes into the drive I had had enough. "Boys! Cut it out! CUT! IT! OUT! That's ENOUGH!" Silence for about 60 seconds. Then:

K: Mommy?
H: Yes Kyle?
K: Mommy, I'm getting mad at you.
O: Me too!
K: Mommy, I think Owen is feeling angry. Angry at you Mommy. And I'm getting mad at you too.
H: O.k. You can be mad at me.
K: Actually, I'm getting mad at Owen. Yes. I'm getting mad at Owen.
O: I'm having a bad day. Mommy, did you hear me? I said, 'I'm having a bad day.'
H: Oh. Owen, why are you having a bad day?
O: I am having a bad day. Because you are saying mean things to me Mommy. You are saying very mean things to me and to Kyle.
H: Like what? What mean things am I saying?
O: You said 'that's enough!' That was very mean. That's why I'm mad at you Mommy. That's why. And that's why I'm having a bad day. That's why.
H: O.k.
K: I'm mad at Owen. I'm super mad at Owen.
O: Kyle, why are you mad at me? Why Kyle?
K: Because you broke my hood Owen! You broke my hood and you threw my hat!
O: Oh.
K: That's why!
O: Oh. Kyle, I have an idea-- let's be mad at Mommy.
K: O.k.
O: We're mad at Mommy. Right Kyle?
K: Yes, that's right!
O: That's exactly right! We're mad at Mommy!
K: Yes! She needs to go to her room!
O: Yes, and she needs to have a big huge time out!
K: Yes! She is poopie Mommy!
O: Yes! Poopie Mommy!
K: Owen, let's talk about POOP!
O: POOP!
K: Poop and poop and poop!
O: Pooooooooop!!!!!!
[hysterical laughter, followed by happy banter for the rest of the drive to school]

Compare and Contrast

If you haven't adopted children from a place like Haiti, then you might not understand the depths of what goes on in the hearts and minds of adoptive parents like us. In which case, you have no right to criticize us for our feelings and thoughts (i.e., to all of you who seem to get off on leaving hurtful anonymous comments on our blog: please don't leave any nasty comments to this post-- I'm just going to delete them anyway so it is just a waste of your time). Having said that... Braydon and I have minds that go-go-go non-stop ALL. THE. TIME. We can't help it, it is just the way we are. One whole category of thoughts that we can't halt is a running stream of consciousness of compare-and-contrast regarding our boys. We try to stay educated on what is happening in Haiti. We try to always be mindful of our boys' roots. Especially now, as they are so young, it is important that we do that because they can't do that for themselves yet. And so we do. There are thoughts -- many of them -- that we don't share on this blog and that we rarely share with anyone but each other. Mostly though, we just try to remember. The photo at the top of this post was taken by Troy Livesay (link to the Livesay Haiti Blog by clicking here). Troy took the photo recently in Port au Prince. Not that it even matters (all things considered), but the photo was taken in a part of Port au Prince that is not even the "worst" part. K & O were born in the "worst" part -- Cite Soleil. The photo below it is of K & O playing in our front yard on Wednesday evening. Click the photos to enlarge them. We try not to get up on our soap box... but for anyone who is considering adopting from Haiti -- please always know that you can contact us for support and encouragement at any time. Compare and Contrast. ~HBJ

Re-Cap of the Past Few Days

• After my parents left on Wednesday we were back to our usual fending-for-ourselves in the dual-career-couple-with-young-children craze that we call our life. We try not to complain because we embrace the challenge... but... it is not easy-- this set-up that we've got going on. Anyone trying to juggle the dual-career+family thing knows exactly what I'm talking about. But throw in the no-family-anywhere-close-by thing and it just makes it even more insane. The world is not set up for people like us. The vast majority of our social structure operates in opposition to us (sorry, sometimes I can't help but to slip the sociology in). So the fact that we usually feel like we are swimming up stream is no surprise. Anyway... with the boys out of school for April Break, and me with my last week of the semester, and Braydon with his usual 2-full-time-careers-at-once (don't forget folks, he's got a huge corporate career and an independent business that he's trying to get off the ground), plus add in that I'm 9 months pregnant and our boys are -- um, shall we say, active -- well, it was just plain a heck of a week. Alex is a lifesaver of a nanny. She keeps us afloat. But it was just a heck of a week. I was out for work functions/dinners/events 3 out of the 5 days last week (and it would have been 4 out of 5 if I hadn't insisted on cancelling one of the nights in order to get some rest). Thank God my parents were here Fri-Wed or we would have been in very bad shape.
• Friday afternoon the boys spent a couple of hours on campus with one of my black students that they adore. She took them to a cookout with a bunch of other black students. They liked going to the cookout, eating hot dogs, etc... but most importantly K & O got to hang out with some very cool college students -- or so we hear. Apparently there was some "very good" music "playing loudly" at this cookout and the "big guys" were hooting and hollering with the tunes because Kyle has been imitating it off-and-on ever since. So cute-- but truly impossible to describe here in words how he's been doing it. Owen was proud to report that one of the guys had: "beautiful dreadlocks just like me and Kyle!" and that the dreadlocks were "the same but different - the same dreadlocks but longer!" These times are very good for the boys. The key seems to be for Braydon and I to give them these chances to hang out with black folks without us around. When Braydon and I are added into the mix the entire dynamic changes. Those times are good too. But there is something very special, and I think very important, about K & O getting to be surrounded by black communities without B & I present. At this age they are definitely starting to connect themselves to being a part of a group of people -- black people -- that Braydon and I will never be able to be fully a part of. It requires us letting go, but I feel really strongly that our letting go in this sense is actually our way of embracing our boys tighter. It is a strange and ironic aspect of our cross-racial parenting.
• Saturday Alex babysat all day so that Braydon and I could attend our one-day-intensive Lamaze class. We got a lot out of the class and we are so glad we did it. Despite having both already read many many books (including the classic Lamaze book cover to cover), we learned more from that one class than from all of the books combined.
• Sunday was a Family Day to try to re-bond and re-connect after an over-the-top week. We did our favorite day trip: New Hope. And did all of our favorite things there: fed the ducks, ate lunch on the porch at the Logan Inn, luxuriated in our favorite French Bakery (the boys chose a "chocolate cup" -- an entirely edible cup made of chocolate and filled with chocolate mousse), took a beautiful spring ride on the New Hope - Ivyland train (major highlight for K & O), and shopped for Baby Sister at our favorite New Hope baby boutique. It was a near perfect day for us despite the fact that the weather was overcast and unseasonably cool.
• Today the boys went back to school. When Kyle stumbled into our bedroom this morning after having just woken up he said, "Today is a school day?" And I said, "Yes." And he said, "Yiiipppppeeeeeee!!!!!" and threw his hands up into the air. All I could think was, 'Please dear Lord let him still feel that way about school ten years from now!'
• Updates: Owen's belly button is totally healed and looks great-- he is beyond thrilled with his "innie." Kyle is sleeping with no pull up and is making it through the nights dry with only rare accidents-- he is so proud of himself. Braydon and I could not be more delighted that as long as all continues to go well we will only be continuing to buy Pampers for 2 instead of 3 (diapers for Baby Sister and night-time-Pull-Ups for only Owen).
• Speaking of Baby Sister... the boys are getting very excited for her arrival. She's probably mentioned at least 20 times per day. The latest is that they want to know "how many more sleeps until she is born?" I wish we could answer that question conclusively for them-- it is very hard for them to understand why we can't give them a number. We continue to get more and more set for her arrival. The to-do list is getting shorter and shorter (still long, but much shorter!). Due date = 2.5 weeks from now. Wowsers.
• Everything is now in high-gear for the boys' 4th b-day party. The party is this Sunday, even though their actual b-day is May 8. Big happenings here in preparation for all of their friends to come for the big bash. K & O are very specific about it all -- my job is simply to make all of their dreamy party details a reality. It is fun fun fun.
• K & O are in an intensely twinny-twinny-same-same-match-to-match phase. They want everything identical. They conspire together at all times to ensure that everything is as "match-to-match" as possible. They want to wear exactly the same outfits. They want the same exact food to eat at every meal or snack. They want to play the same thing as each other all day long. They want their b-day cakes to be identical. It drives me nuts and I try to get them to choose different things and express their own preferences. Problem is that their preference is "the same!!!" always. They conference in together before they answer my questions-- i.e., "What do you want to drink? Milk or Juice?", then the two of them huddle face to face and discuss the question as if it were a U.N. conference on major world issues, then they pop up out of their huddle and announce their decision in unison. Bizarre twinny stuff folks. Just bizarre. The same-exact-birthday-cake thing really has me spinning but Braydon keeps me grounded and reminds me, "It is their birthday, if they want the same cakes, then they can have the same cakes." He's right. But really, it is just weird to watch twins like these sometimes.
• The other night Kyle explained to us that "God paints" people the colors that they are. I.e., God "painted" K & O brown and "painted" Braydon and I white. He went on to explain that, basically, God can re-paint people to "switch their color skin." I.e., "if Alex wants to be brown then God can paint her brown." Interesting, interesting stuff. Especially given that we have been very explicit (especially lately, with Baby Sister's impending arrival) about the reality that people's skin color is determined by their biological parents' skin color. We have tried to figure out where he got this 'God painting' idea. Turns out he has come up with this entirely on his own. He's not quite on track with accuracy. But the boy is a little theologian -- you heard it here first.
• Ever since MorFar was here Owen is obsessed with baseball. He plays for hours in the yard hitting the baseball by himself. He throws the ball up in the air with one hand while holding the baseball bat in the other hand, then swings at it. At least half the time he hits huge hits this way. When he's doing this out in the yard he looks like a 12 year old, not a 3 year old. He says he wants to "hit the ball so hard just like Manny Ramirez." He's got a long way to go to make it to the Red Sox. But the boy is a little athlete -- you heard it here first.
• The lilacs are now blooming. There is nothing like the smell of lilacs.

Photos from New Hope I

Photos from New Hope II

Braydon & Owen; Heather & Kyle

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